[identity profile] stormymood.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] arashi_exchange
A piece of rainbow for [livejournal.com profile] avadiablo Part 1


Title: 嵐の夜には (On a Stormy Night)
Pairing: Jun/Aiba, Ohno/Aiba
Rating/Warnings: NC-17; angst, cheating
Summary: He tried to steal what was never his, on that stormy night. He held him close, he felt his warmth. He did not care even if he would cause a storm crueler than the one outside his window, one that will hurt all of them.
Notes: (sorry that summary was lame) To my dear recipient: this is written with you in mind. :) I think I know why fate assigned you to me; you have this certain request that somehow looked like mine (something about how you want your angst lol). It was like writing something that I want but I thought I couldn’t write. I also did my best to incorporate all of your ‘wants’ as much as possible but I hope I did not overstuff you with things. I do hope that you enjoy this story! And that question I sent did not make you expect too much (I had to do it that way so that you also won’t expect what’s coming).
Also big thanks to the wonderful mod who assisted me all the way and to my beta L who saw stuff that I missed. To everyone else, happy Arashi month!


***

He stared at the window. Flashes of thunder and lightning momentarily illuminated the dark room. The thick walls surrounding them muffled the howling of the wind. They were safe in the comfort of their warm bed, their naked bodies giving off warmth.

But inside that room was another storm.

He looked at the sleeping figure beside him and wondered: was he really sleeping peacefully or was his mind plagued by their horrible sin?
“I’m the worst,” he breathed out, pulling his lover close, inhaling his scent, burying in his warmth. If only he could forget the time, the date, and this world. If only he could make up their own world in the middle of this storm.


***

“You have to go this way!” Ohno laughed as he watched Aiba's awkward movements.

“Like this?”

Ohno frowned, faking a disappointed expression. He walked towards Aiba and placed his hands on his boyfriend’s hips. “Raise your left hip a bit,” he instructed in a soft whisper and Aiba followed. Ohno tightened his hold so that Aiba would not raise his hip too much. “You’re moving like you want a dislocated hip, Masaki.”

“Hmm…” Aiba just replied. They both looked at the large mirror. “Sorry, sensei,” he said in a sing-song voice, trying to tease Ohno.

“To the right,” Ohno said, doing the same thing. “That’s better.”

“This is just like hula…” Aiba pouted.

Ohno just shrugged. “Now, sway your hips left and right and try to remember how high you should go.”

Aiba nodded and he started swaying. Ohno hummed a little so that the dancing would not look stupid, his hands still on his beloved’s hips. As Aiba moved his hips, Ohno slowly slid his hand up, feeling the warm skin under Aiba’s shirt.

“Satoshi!” he gasped, shocked at the sudden movement. Ohno’s calloused hands roamed around Aiba’s waist, making the man lean on his partner. The dancer met Aiba’s lips when he turned his face to the side.

It somehow made Ohno excited: touching Aiba, kissing him. His boyfriend turned around to kiss him, dropping the innocent demeanor. He sucked on the dancer’s lower lip, making Ohno moan at the sensation. His hands under Aiba’s shirt went higher and higher. Ohno could feel his partner’s body shaking in anticipation.

“Mmmm… your phone,” Aiba murmured against his lips.

Ohno groaned in frustration as Aiba pulled away, smiling shyly at him. Ohno had not even noticed that his phone was ringing. The caller dropped it but left a message, making Ohno’s irritation fade away.

“Who was that?” Aiba asked curiously as he noticed Ohno’s bright expression.

“Are you free this Saturday, Masaki? I want you to meet someone.”

***

Jun reluctantly lifted his body, making his lover stir and adjust his position on the bed. “I’m leaving…”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah,” Jun leaned on the headboard, letting his partner’s head lay on his chest. “I’m going to London to continue my studies.”

“Oh,” he replied in an unusually cold voice. “That’s… great.”

“Will I see you again when I return?”

Jun felt a stinging pain in his chest when his lover stood up from the bed. He gave a soft kiss on Jun’s lips and started to gather his clothes. Jun tried to remember what his lover looked like. He tried to memorize the smoothness of his skin, his tanned sculpted body, his plump lips, round eyes, and the splash of color on his left shoulder.

“I don’t think there’s a need to see each other. Best of luck to you, Matsumoto-san.”


***

“This is Aiba Masaki, my boyfriend,” Ohno said with a wide smile, holding his beloved’s hand. Jun looked at the two with a smile. He looked at the guy; he was still that beautiful. Tall, slim, and with a face that looked amiable. He was, in a word, charming; and even more charming than ever.

“Hi,” Jun said, offering a hand with a smile. “I’m Matsumoto Jun.”

Aiba blinked a few times, looking at Jun with an unreadable expression. But after a nudge from his boyfriend, he gave a small cautious nod before he shook Jun’s hand.

“Oh, Masaki, do you know that my best friend is a great businessman?”

“Far from it, very far,” Jun chuckled as he relaxed in his seat. “But who knows what the future might bring?” he said, raising his glass.

“You’re still humbly arrogant!” Ohno said jokingly, raising his glass as well. Jun glanced at Aiba, who kept his eyes on the ground.

“How ironic,” he replied with a chuckle. Jun drank the contents of his glass in one go, the wine leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Jun looked at the couple. He observed how Aiba blushed as Ohno pushed his bangs away from his forehead, planting a soft kiss on his sharp cheekbone. He stared at Aiba’s fingers as they gently held the white porcelain cup that enhanced his golden tan.

Jun tried to put his attention to the fountain outside the café, trying to ignore the prickling feeling on his chest.

“Jun, what do you think of Masaki?”

“Huh?” he replied after the question brought him back. He looked at Aiba’s brown eyes, alluring as always, and then smiled. “Perfect. You always pick the best partners not just in dance but also in love.” Jun raised his glass in acknowledgement before he took another swig.

“I told you he’d like you,” Ohno whispered, squeezing Aiba’s hand. Jun gripped his glass tighter than usual.

As the couple left the café, Jun watched them through the clear glass. Ohno placed his arm around Aiba’s waist as they made their way to the parking lot.

At that moment, Jun felt his heart being broken into tiny pieces. Memories played inside his head, memories involving those alluring brown eyes.

Jun could only smile dejectedly.

***

“Hi,” Jun greeted the bartender as he swirled his glass sensually. “Another, please.”

“Understood,” the man replied with a small smile that did not reach his eyes. He poured the drinks with flair, captivating Jun. He found the bartender interesting and also alluring.

Jun grabbed the bartender’s hand as he placed his customer’s glass on the table. “Hmm, why don’t you check the taste first?”

The man looked at him. Jun saw a second of shock, followed by an expression that attempted intimidation. Jun smirked because of that. He knew that he could win this man over. The tall young man, his brown hair glowing in the dim yellow light, lifted the glass and took a sip of his own creation. He smiled a little and passed the glass to the customer.

Jun took a sip from the glass, making sure that he drank from the side that the bartender’s lips touched. He locked his eyes on the bartender as he drank his cocktail. “This tastes like heaven,” he commented in a low voice.

The man bowed silently as a response. He then resumed wiping glasses.

“I can sense that you are somehow a caring bartender.”

The man behind the counter momentarily stopped his task and looked at Jun with a puzzled face. “Care to explain?”

“Bartenders who taste their creation before giving it to their customer care about the taste of the drink,” Jun explained. “That’s what my friend from London said.”

Jun was so sure his prey blushed at the statement. The bartender coughed and gave a small smile. This time, crow’s feet appeared on the corner of his eyes. “Well, I agree with your friend. I don’t want to betray the customers. They trust that I won’t poison them.”

Jun stood up a little and leaned closer. “Well, I trust you that you won’t poison me,” he said, pushing a little piece of paper, his business card, towards the bartender.

“Sir, I don’t think…”

Jun grabbed the man’s nape and gave him a kiss. Jun smirked as he felt his prey responding to him, leaning closer and opening his mouth, allowing Jun to enter. He nibbled on the man’s thick lower lip before he pulled away, watching the bemused bartender fix his disheveled uniform.

“Sir, this is improper…!” he tried to retort.

Jun smirked as he saw the name tag of the barman. “No one’s around, don’t worry, Aiba-san,” he said. “By the way,” he said as he placed his tab on the table, “you taste better than your cocktail.”


***

Jun was not fond of company parties.

After talking to some guests, he excused himself and made his way towards the balcony overlooking the lake beside the hotel. Jun took a deep breath and closed his eyes, shutting off the boisterous laughter and music coming from the party hall.

Someone gave a small pat on Jun’s shoulder, jolting him awake. “Are you alright, Matsumoto-san?” he asked. There was nothing but genuine concern on his face and in his voice. “You’ve been standing there for quite some time already and…”

“And?” Jun voiced out, turning around. He gulped as he faced the person he was talking to. “Masaki?”

The man smiled a little. “Please, Matsumoto-san. It’s Aiba.”

“I think there’s nothing wrong if I call you Masaki,” Jun said, putting his glass down on the marble balcony. “You’re my best friend’s boyfriend after all,” he scoffed.

“I’m going now.”

Jun did not know who was more surprised by what he had done next, Aiba or himself? He grabbed the man’s wrist. “Stay.”

“I can’t.”

“Well, I’m a guest in this hotel. You should follow my wishes, right?”

Aiba gave a small, reluctant nod to the businessman. Even so, he wriggled free from Jun’s grasp and placed his hands behind him, the perfect posture of a hotel staff.

“Are you satisfied with your life right now, Masaki?” Jun asked as he swirled his glass. The stars seemed to be dancing in the sky.

Through the corner of his eyes, Jun saw Aiba look at the dark sky thoughtfully. “I don’t think I have anything I could wish for.”

“Ohno-kun… isn’t he a great guy?” Jun turned around to face Aiba, his back resting on the balcony.

Aiba stiffened at the mention of his boyfriend’s name. He blushed, and Jun found it cute. “He is amazing, in all senses. He taught me how to not be afraid…”

“Afraid?”

“Of love,” Aiba said, but his eyes met Jun and he felt that those brown eyes were burning his soul. “Satoshi is very honest about his feelings,” he added thoughtfully.

Jun drank the remaining contents of the glass and placed it on top of the balcony. “Yes, he is. Quite shy but really honest…” He chuckled. “You chose the right person then,” he said with a sad smile, walking towards Aiba. He did not know how many glasses of whiskey and wine he had downed in this party. but by the way his surroundings moved he probably had a lot. He placed his arms around Aiba’s neck as his knees almost gave in.

“Matsumoto-san!” the bartender exclaimed. Jun’s glass fell on the floor, shattering to pieces.

“Help me, will you? Help your boyfriend’s best friend,” he added with a slight hint of resentment that subconsciously escaped his lips. Aiba was breathing heavily on his face and it was a nice hot feeling. Jun leaned closer and closer, the alcohol removing all his inhibitions. “If only...”

***

“Jun,” Aiba breathed out as Jun pushed him against the door violently that there was a large thud. Jun used his knee to give friction to Aiba’s crotch, making the man moan and buckle his knees.

“How can an angel look like this?” Jun whispered to Aiba’s ear before he traced the jawline with his lips. “Masaki… you look so different when I see you behind the counter from when I see you naked.”

“Mmm… I’m no angel.” Aiba could only groan in reply. “Stop talking too much,” he grunted. “Just fuck me.”

Jun momentarily stopped and frowned. Indeed, he was suddenly talking too much. He wanted to say a lot of things to Aiba, not just fuck him for his own pleasure.

Jun grabbed the back of Aiba’s head and kissed him intensely, until both of them could not breathe. He savored Aiba’s taste, a mixture of wine and berries and a trace of honey.

“Jun…” Aiba moaned as he pulled his head back when the guy started to unbutton the bartender’s shirt. Jun kissed every bit of skin that he could find, then settling on Aiba’s left nipple, swirling his tongue around it and then sucking it.

“How beautiful you are…” Jun murmured against his lover’s skin, leaving a trail of kisses until he reached Aiba’s navel. With impatience, Jun removed Aiba’s trousers and released his erection, stroking it lightly, teasingly, and making Aiba run his hands through his hair.

“Stop… teasing me…” Aiba said, bucking his hips towards Jun. The man smirked before he took in Aiba’s hard-on, humming slightly, making his lover thrust forward due to the vibrations.

Jun worked his magic, swirling his tongue around Aiba’s cock as the man thrust his hips forward, getting lost in the feeling. Jun could feel that Aiba was pulling his hair painfully but he loved every single sensation.

“Fuck… Jun, just…”

He moved his head forward, letting Aiba go deeper, and he hummed once again, making his lover thrust more and more until he finally came.

Jun stood up once again after he swallowed Aiba’s release, touching his partner’s cheek softly. He smiled lazily as he noted on how pretty Aiba looked, his head pulled back, exposing his smooth neck, his eyes dark with desire and his mouth half-open as he took in long and deep breaths. He leaned on Jun’s hand, closing his eyes a little bit as if resting.

“Your turn, Masaki,” Jun said, moving closer and claiming Aiba’s lips once again. The two made their way to the living room, their hands all over each other. Aiba was about to bend over on the couch but Jun pulled him up. “I want to see you.”

“Jun… just please…” Aiba was hard again and he was craving for more.

Looking at his lover’s anticipation turned Jun on. He gave a soft kiss to Aiba and led him to the bedroom. “Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good.” Jun pushed him to the bed. “Just close your eyes.”

“Shut up. Just fuck me if you want,” Aiba replied. He pulled his head back, exposing his collarbones that Jun loved to give attention to.

“I won’t do anything if you don’t close your eyes.”

After Aiba finally closed his eyes, Jun took some lube from his bedside table and removed his clothes before positioning himself between Aiba’s legs. He stroked his inner ¬thighs, making Aiba shudder to his touch. But he did not dare open his eyes.

“Masaki…” Jun thought sadly as he looked at the beautiful figure all ready to be his. Jun bit his lip as he looked at Aiba’s body, taking in the sight. He was so perfect, he was too beautiful, and as a person, he was actually better than all the other people Jun had met.

Jun started to prepare Aiba, inserting a finger and making the man sigh. Jun realized how hearing Aiba’s voice, his laughter, his erotic moans, his whispers, felt like being in a world that only the two of them shared. Jun moved his fingers skillfully until he felt that his lover was finally ready.

“Jun, I need you. I need you now…!”

Jun thrust his cock to Aiba’s hole without any warning, making Aiba keen loudly and arch his back. Jun started thrusting in and out, pulling out to the tip and then pushing it in. He hooked Aiba’s legs over his forearms, hitting the right spot based on his partner’s unholy sounds.

“Jun, please…” Aiba pleaded.

Jun then shifted the position so that he could hover over Aiba. “Look at me.” Aiba opened his eyes and Jun found himself lost in those round brown eyes. He stroked Aiba’s erection, teasing the tip once in a while, wanting to make sure that both of them could enjoy this as much as possible.

He knew that both of them were on the edge; Aiba breaths were fast and shallow and Jun himself was pushing harder and faster while his hands moved at the same rhythm. Jun buried his face at the crook of Aiba’s shoulder, inhaling his sweet scent while listening to the glorious sounds coming from his lips.

“Masaki, you feel so good…” Jun hissed as he felt Aiba’s muscles clenching on his cock, multiplying the pleasurable friction he was feeling.

After a few more pumps, Aiba came on his hand, shouting Jun’s name in pleasure. He kissed Aiba’s brow as Jun continued thrusting his hips faster, giving out a loud sigh as he released himself. He let himself fall on the bed, meeting Aiba’s lips before rolling to the side. Only their breaths could be heard in the room.


***

“Let’s try to get home as soon as possible, Sho,” he informed his assistant as he ran inside the car.

“Understood, Jun-san. The storm is fast approaching.”

Jun hummed in agreement, looking at the deserted streets. The wind had blown a lot of streamers away, and he could not really see the road clearly because the heavy rain.

“Wait,” Jun tapped Sho’s shoulder as he saw a figure walking, swaying, on the rainy streets. The said figure was carrying an umbrella which was already useless because it was destroyed by the wind. “No way…” he breathed out as he touched the moist glass. He recognized who was that person.

“Jun-san!”

Jun got down from the car, ignoring Sho’s protests, and braved the storm.

“Are you crazy? What the hell are you doing here? Do you want to die?” Jun shouted through the noise, shaking Aiba violently. His eyes widened.

Even under the rain and the loud noise from the rustling wind, Jun could see that the man was crying. He tried to push Jun away but Jun just grabbed his wrist forcefully and dragged him back to the car.

“Isn’t that Aiba-kun? What happened to him?”

“Just drive! Take us home,” Jun said, raising his voice. He placed his arm around Aiba, who was pale and shaking due to the cold. Jun rubbed his hand on Aiba’s skin as a feeble attempt to warm him up.

Sho helped Jun take Aiba inside the businessman’s home, making him sit on the black couch.

“Jun-san,” Sho started as Jun rushed towards his closet to grab some dry, fresh clothes. “You still have a telecon with the manager from Beijing.”

“Attend it for me,” Jun replied. “Just go! You know what to do.”

“But…”

“Just go,” Jun repeated, irritation and exhaustion obvious in his voice.

Sho looked at him with a worried expression. “Don’t do anything stupid, Jun-san,” he said while he looked at Aiba lying on the couch. He bowed before he left the apartment with haste.

Jun kneeled in front of Aiba so that he could start removing his wet clothes. The man was shivering so badly that it was alarming. But Jun could not forget what he saw earlier: Aiba’s helplessness and misery.

“What happened, Masaki?” he whispered as he touched the other man’s pale cheeks. “Why are you crying like this?”

Slowly, Aiba opened his eyes. Jun could only look in astonishment at his beautiful brown eyes. Aiba was looking straight at him but seeing nothing.

“I don’t want him to go…” Aiba said in a hoarse voice. He placed his arms around himself and lowered his head on his chest. “I should be happy for him… but I don’t want him to leave.”

“Masaki…”

“What is wrong with me? Satoshi, he only wants what’s best for us! Why can’t I understand that?”

Jun leaned forward and pressed his lips on Aiba’s, shutting him up. He pulled away and looked at Aiba’s shocked expression.

This is wrong,” Jun thought. He knew this was wrong. He thought of Ohno, and all the wonderful and happy memories they made with each other. He was a friend, a brother. He could not do this.

But Aiba, an apotheosis that he had let slip from his fingers, was lying there, and Jun had lost all control. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Masaki. Nothing,” he assured him, his lips grazing on Aiba’s cheek.

They had created a storm on the other side of the wall, far crueler than the one outside Jun’s room.

Aiba reciprocated the kiss with the same passion, grasping on Jun’s shirt as if it was a lifeline. Aiba murmured incomprehensible words against the man’s ear while Jun’s lips traced their way down the man’s sharp jawline.

Jun knew he could not hold back. He removed Aiba’s damp clothes, taking in the sight of his naked body that glistened under the light created by the occasional flashes of thunder. Aiba tugged at Jun’s shirt with the same urgency.

“Stay with me…” Aiba moaned as Jun’s fingers crawled on his skin. Jun felt that his lover’s body was on fire. He could feel how Aiba’s breath hitched up every time Jun stroked the man’s skin.

It was like wielding a knife that hurt everyone around him. Jun thrust incessantly, listening to Aiba’s moans and whimpers. “Touch me,” Aiba begged. Jun stroked his lover’s hard member and moved his hand to the rhythm of his own body. He felt Aiba’s body tremble underneath him.

Jun continued his movements, faster, harder, groaning as he reached his peak. “Masaki…” he whispered to his forbidden lover’s ear.

He buried his head on the crook of Aiba’s shoulder and showered any exposed skin he could find with soft, fluttering kisses. He let Aiba trace his spine with his long fingers. He listened to Aiba’s erratic breathing and let his body feel the loud thumping of his lover’s – his best friend’s beloved’s – heart. He listened to the howling wind; the storm outside was subsiding. But inside his room, another one was brewing.

It wasn’t until he heard Aiba’s whimpers when Jun’s short moment of satisfaction was overwhelmed by guilt and misery. He feared that Aiba would push him away. But in the end, Aiba was just lying there in silence.

“We shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have… What about Satoshi…?”

Jun raised his head to kiss his lover once again. Aiba pushed him away weakly but did not utter any protest when Jun continued holding him.

It broke Jun’s heart but at the same time, he did not care as long as he had Aiba. He had already turned into a monster: a monster who depends on Ohno’s unhappiness and Aiba’s misery.

***

“Are you not feeling well, sir?” the bartender asked, making Ohno sit up straight. “Can I offer you a drink?”

Ohno smiled at him and thought that the bartender was warm and friendly. His smile was also charming. “Ah, I guess I’m not one for parties.”

The bartender smiled as he prepared the drink. “Here,” he presented the glass. “This has a low alcohol content; just enough to wake you up with its bitter taste. But it will let you get home safely, as long as you don’t drive.” He chuckled. “That’s illegal.”

“I know that,” Ohno replied with an amused expression. He took a sip of the drink and beamed. “This is really good.”

“Thanks, sir,” he bowed.

“What’s your name?”

“Aiba,” the bartender replied.

“I’m Ohno Satoshi,” he answered, a little more enthusiastic than he usually was. He did not know if it was the effect of the cocktail or it was something else. Ohno just talked and talked about a lot of things such as his dancing job and his secret painting hobby. Aiba nodded as he wiped the glasses, asking a question or two about dancing terms and his schedules.

“Bartenders are probably not listening when the customer rants and stuff, what do you think?” Ohno asked, making Aiba stop his activity.

“Sorry if I made you feel like that,” Aiba answered with a small embarrassed smile.

Ohno shook his head. “On the contrary, you look like you’re really listening. You even asked questions!” He placed a card on the top of the table. “Drop by our dance school. You seemed to be interested about it.”

Ohno watched as Aiba looked at the card curiously. There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes but it was quickly blinked away. He picked up the card and studied it.

“I actually don’t have my own business card,” Ohno said, scratching the back of his head. “But just tell the receptionist that you’re looking for Ohno Satoshi.”

“Okay, I will,” Aiba said, pocketing the card.


***

Ohno promised that he would never hurt Aiba. On the outside, the man seemed cheerful, his smiles radiant and charming. He admired the way Aiba connected with the customers in the hotel bar that he visited once in a while.

But even though Aiba showered him with kisses, told him stories about his work in the hotel with a big smile and a little joke here and there, Ohno knew that Aiba hid something in his heart.

No matter how wide Aiba’s smiles were, there was always a tinge of melancholy in his eyes. Maybe Ohno was overthinking but he never saw Aiba get angry. They never fought. His boyfriend would say sorry about the pettiest things to make sure that the harmony between them would not be destroyed.

Ohno wondered if this was Aiba’s way of making sure that he would not leave him. To be honest, he did not mind little quarrels; these things should be normal. He would often shake those thoughts away; loved the man either way.

“I know that one day, you’ll open your heart to me,” Ohno whispered as he stroked his boyfriend’s golden brown hair. He placed a soft kiss on his brow before he stood up to check his luggage. A dance camp from LA invited him to be a coach. Aiba even pushed him to go to the camp; it was a big opportunity that he should not miss.

He looked at Aiba’s closed lids after he finished packing. Ohno kissed them lightly; half-hoping that his beloved would wake up and smile at him before he left. But his heart clenched at the sight of Aiba; he would definitely miss his love.

“I won’t take long, Masaki. I’ll be back before you know it,” he whispered to Aiba’s ear lovingly before he stood up from the bed, took his belongings, and left the room.

***

“Aiba-san!” he shouted, successfully pulling Aiba’s hand. “Listen to me, please. I love you!”

“No, Ohno-san,” Aiba said, looking away from the man in front of him. “I don’t… I can’t…”

Ohno carefully pulled him close until he could feel Aiba’s heartbeat. He placed his free arm around the man. “I know it, Aiba-san. I know that you also feel the same. I could see it in your movements. I could see it in your face when you talk to me.” He swept the hair that was sticking on Aiba’s face away so that he could see the man’s face better. “And I also know that you’re trying to avoid being connected to me and other people. You are building a wall around yourself. What’s holding you back?”

Aiba closed his eyes, and Ohno felt the man relax in his touch. However, Aiba still tried to pull away weakly. “N-no. I can’t have you in my life, Ohno-san.”

“What are you scared about?” Ohno said, grabbing Aiba’s hand. “Tell me, Aiba-san. Let me chase your fears away.” Aiba looked at Ohno’s determined but gentle eyes. He wanted the man to trust him, he wanted to love him. Sensing Aiba’s distrust, he said, “I am telling you the truth, Aiba-san.”

“I don’t want to be hurt. People say that they love me and then they leave me, they betray my trust. No, I don’t want that to happen. I can’t let that happen. I’m broken. I’m beyond repair. ” He wriggled free from Ohno’s grasp. “I’m sorry, Ohno-san. Find someone who isn’t like me. You won’t want me in your life.”

Again, Aiba turned around to walk away and Ohno pulled him more violently than earlier and instead of an embrace, he held the back of Aiba’s head and let their lips clash with each other. Aiba’s lips were soft and the flavor of berries lingered. He could feel how Aiba tried to pull away, albeit weakly.

“I won’t hurt you,” Ohno murmured, his lips still dangerously close to Aiba’s. Then slowly, like a curious child, Aiba kissed back, granting Ohno entrance in his mouth. Their tongues swirled against each other, they held on to each other for support. Both were gasping for breath as they pulled away from each other, their faces still as close.

“I promise, Aiba-san, I will never ever hurt you. You will never be alone,” Ohno said as he tightened his hold around Aiba’s waist. “No one deserves to be hurt. You don’t deserve to be hurt.” He kissed Aiba’s closed lids as the latter’s tears streamed down.

“Please keep your promise, Ohno-san,” Aiba said in a breathless voice.

Ohno nodded with a smile. “Of course. I love you.”


***

Ohno sighed as he finally boarded a cab going home. Everything in LA was a mess: schedules not followed, plans not executed perfectly, and the big problem of language barrier. He was so anxious to finish the camp which extended from the original one week to one month.

The dancer just smiled as he sighted the familiar apartment building. He would be home in a few moments. He would be able to feel his beloved Aiba’s warmth and he would instantly forget the stress that he had experienced.

“Masaki… I’m home,” he called out excitedly after opening the door. Surprisingly, darkness filled the room: windows closed, lights off. But he squinted enough to see Aiba sitting on the couch, lying with his head facing the ceiling.

“Masaki?” he called out again but it seemed like Aiba was in a daze, not noticing his arrival. It really scared him to see Aiba like that. Ohno turned on the lights and finally, that made Aiba look at him.

His boyfriend’s look made him uneasy rather than relaxed. But Aiba stood up and embraced him, whispering “welcome home” to his ear in a voice that sounded like he had not used his voice for a long time. He faced Ohno and gave a smile. “I missed you, Satoshi.”

“Masaki,” Ohno closed his eyes as he pulled Aiba closer in his embrace. “Is there something wrong? Do we need to talk about something?”

Aiba shook his head. “I love you, Satoshi. I love you,” he whispered like a chant.

“I know, I know,” Ohno replied, stroking the man’s light brown hair. “You’re acting strange.”

Aiba broke the hug and smiled at him. “Am I?” Ohno just knew that the smile was off but he just smiled back and placed a soft kiss on Aiba’s temple.

“Yeah. You missed me. That’s why you’re acting strange.”

Aiba chuckled. “Don’t get too cocky,” he said, ruffling Ohno’s hair.

***

“What am I afraid of?”

When Jun’s lips invaded his, Aiba’s questions were answered. He could pull away, he could hit Jun, he could run, but all he could do was let this man kiss him, breaking all his defenses, and equally as guilty, Aiba responded to his kisses.

“I love you, Masaki. I shouldn’t have left you,” he heard Jun murmur through his drunkenness.

Aiba froze. He successfully pushed Jun away. He looked at the drunken man with disbelief. “I-I am going to get someone to help you.”

He stormed through the hall, bumping into a few persons here and there, and looked for another concierge who would take Jun to his hotel room. Aiba could not do it himself. He did not know what could happen if he did. Thankfully, he saw a co-worker and gave him instructions to take care of the guest he left on the balcony.

Aiba hurriedly went home, pretending that he wasn’t feeling well. He looked at the road outside, touching his lip unconsciously, remembering the heat that filled his core as Jun’s body was against him.

“There’s nothing between us,” Aiba told his hazy reflection on the window. “Nothing.” Only remnants of physical attraction, only lust that he could quickly erase in his brain. Ohno could also give him that. He has Ohno. He loves him. And Ohno will never hurt him.

Aiba found his boyfriend lying on the bed, fast asleep. His long eyelashes looked really attractive. He went to bed and started kissing Ohno’s beautiful lashes, tracing kisses down to his collarbone.

“Mmm… Masaki?” he groaned in response.

“Make love to me, Satoshi,” Aiba whispered to his beloved’s ear before he looked directly at Ohno’s eyes. “Love me until I can’t breathe anymore.”

Aiba lay on top of Ohno, letting him feel his erection. Ohno’s confused and sleepy expression slowly changed into something more predatory. Ohno pulled Aiba’s collar down to kiss him. Yes, Ohno could give him bodily pleasures and on top of that, he gave him true love. That was enough.

***

“Happy anniversary, Satoshi,” he whispered in the silence of the apartment, looking at the slice of cake in front of him.

He started eating the cake, his tongue unable to taste any sweetness. Later on, his surroundings blurred and drop of his tears fell on the wooden table. He let himself cry silently as he finished the cake.

Unable to bear the sorrow of being alone in their home, Aiba quickly took his coat and went out. He did not know where to go but he just had to leave their shared apartment to escape the silence.

Aiba looked at the dark clouds that somehow matched his feelings inside. The strong winds blew, stinging his skin with the cold. He looked at the sky and let the heavy raindrops fall on his face. At least with the rain, he did not need any effort to hide his misery.

“Are you crazy?” a familiar voice shouted amidst the heavy rain.


***

“Oh, this looks delicious,” Aiba said, putting his arms around his waist from behind while Ohno busied himself, slicing the fish with great care. “Anything special today?”

“Hmm…” Ohno just replied before he met Aiba’s lips for a kiss. “A visitor is dropping by.”

“Visitor? Who?” Aiba asked curiously, still holding Ohno’s waist.

“Remember when I introduced you to my best friend? Jun?”

Aiba’s hold around Ohno’s waist loosened. “Y-yes,” he replied, excusing himself by going to the cupboard to take some cutlery. “He’s our visitor?”

“Yeah,” Ohno replied. “I wanted to catch up with him,” he said happily as he dropped some onions in the pot, causing a sizzling sound. He looked at Aiba, who was wiping the plates unnecessarily.

“Do you two need time alone?” he tried asking as casual as possible.

“Nah, I bought everything already,” Ohno replied. “You should hang out with him more, Masaki. He’s a nice guy.” Ohno started stirring the contents of the pot. “He studied business in London for three years and he just came home a few months ago, around the time when I first introduced you to him.”

Aiba looked at Ohno curiously. “Why did he return then?”

“Personal reasons, I guess,” Ohno responded. He smiled at his boyfriend. “Well, if you’re curious, why don’t you ask him, baby?”

Aiba pouted. “I’m not curious. I just, I don’t feel comfortable around him.”

Ohno closed the stove and approached his boyfriend. He smiled sweetly and held both Aiba’s hands. “You know, I’m glad when you show your grumpy side.”

“Eh?”

“You’re always too cheerful around me, always holding back,” Ohno chuckled. “So, I’m glad that you’re being honest.”

“You’re making me nervous,” Aiba replied. “And nobody’s perfect, Satoshi. I can be grumpy when I want to.” He looked away.

“Masaki,” Ohno cupped his face. “We have never fought. Ever! Not that I want that to happen. But sometimes, I feel that you’re holding back your feelings so that we won’t fight. Please just tell me what’s bothering you. I’ll be here, don’t worry.”

Aiba looked at Ohno’s eyes and felt panic. “Satoshi? What are you talking about?”

“Well, I also don’t know.”

Aiba wanted to tell the truth, to open his heart fully to his beloved person, but as he gazed at Ohno’s wonderful eyes, he would back out. The idea of Ohno leaving him scared Aiba to no end.

Fortunately, the staring contest ended when the doorbell rang. “I’ll go get it,” Aiba said, dashing towards the genkan. He opened the door, mustered his biggest smile and said, “Welcome to our home, Matsumoto-san.”

Jun smiled at him. “I told you we can drop the niceties and you can just call me Jun.”

Aiba watched Jun as he changed into the guest slippers. He gulped as he remembered what transpired a few nights before on that same spot.

“Oh, Jun!” Ohno greeted as he saw Jun step inside the living room area. “Please sit down first. Lunch is almost ready. Masaki?”

Ohno’s voice made Masaki look up. He did not realize that he had been staring at the genkan floor for quite some time already. “Ah, yeah,” he replied, heading to the dining room.




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