[identity profile] stormymood.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] arashi_exchange
A piece of rainbow for [livejournal.com profile] learashi Part 5



Jun wakes up feeling great, way better than he has felt in a long time.

The gardening implements are still locked away in the guest room. Jun puts on some classical music and talks to Matsu anyway.

"Last night I had a very sweet dream," he says. "I saw Masaki."


----------
"Jun-chan…"

Jun rubbed his eyes and stared at the figure standing before him in disbelief. It cannot be!

Masaki laughed and reached to brush his cheek. His fingers didn't touch Jun. It felt like a fresh breeze caressed Jun's face.

"You are ready," Masaki said.

"What for?"

"To let go."
----------


"Letting go… that wasn't a concept I liked too much, you know!" Jun chuckles. "But… I think I start seeing the point."

He sighs and takes a sip of his tea. He pours some water over Matsu as well.

"Letting go… it doesn't mean forgetting. I can never forget Masaki. I don't want to," Jun continues. "And I don't have to. It's just… that maybe the way I was remembering him wasn't the right one? I know, I know… I'm starting to sound like that therapist…"

He laughs for a while.

"But you know… the old man isn't that wrong."



It's time to move forward.

One step at a time.



"What do you mean you're staying another week in America, Nino?"

"Sorry, Jun-pon… there's some work stuff I need to do over here."

"Matsumoto-kun, where can I leave this?"

"Ah, just leave it on the table."

"Got it!"

"Who's that, Jun-pon? There's someone else over there, isn't there?"

"Hello, Matsumoto-san! I didn't know you'd have company!"

"Ohno-san? I didn't know you were coming!"

"H-He has a key?"

"Ah, yes…"

"I see… so you are…"

"We're friends, Sakurai-san."

"Yes, Matsumoto-san and I are just friends."

"Jun-pon?"

"Nino? You still there?"

"We have a lot to talk about when I come back."



Nobody says anything for a while after Ohno's arrival. Sakurai and Ohno are staring at each other intently. Jun doesn't know how to interpret it.

"I'm Ohno Satoshi," Ohno says, holding out his right hand.

"Sakurai Sho," Sakurai replies and shakes the offered hand.

"So… do you like shellfish, Sho-chan?"

Jun blinks. 'Sho-chan', Ohno said. 'Sho-chan'. It's the first time Jun hears someone refer to Sakurai like that.

"I do."

"Then you're in for a treat!" Ohno grins. He opens the container he brought with him…

Sakurai's face lights up. "Are those oysters?"

And just like that, they become friends.


One beer later, Ohno and Sakurai are already laughing at each other's bad jokes. Jun doesn't understand what they find so amusing. They keep making lewd gestures, so he guesses they must be making adult jokes. That or Sakurai still laughs as easily as he used to.

Two beers later, Ohno asks Sakurai to call him 'Satoshi-kun'.

"We're friends now, aren't we? Friends don't call other friends 'Ohno-san'! No, no, no! You have to call me Satoshi-kun. I like that. Besides, I'm not 'Ohno-san'. My father is Ohno-san. Well, also my mom, but that's not the point. The point is… you have to call me Satoshi-kun. Okay?"

Jun had never heard Ohno say so many words in a row. That has to be a new record.

Three beers, and Sakurai actually calls Ohno like that.

"Satoshi-kun, that's amazing!" Sho claps noisily as Ohno cuts a delicious piece of tuna in small slices. "You are so good with knifes. I always cut my own fingers when I try to do stuff like that…"

Well, that's something Jun can believe.

Four beers, and they're already telling each other their deepest secrets.

Ohno giggles as Sakurai whispers something in his ear. "That's so cute, Sho-chan," he coos and reaches for Sakurai's face. He fails and ends up wrapping his hands around Sakurai's neck. "Hey, Jun-kun, guess what? Sho-chan says that-"

Sakurai's face goes beet red. "It's a secret, Satoshi-kun!" He whines.

Ohno frowns. "So I can't tell Jun-kun?"

"No, no, no! You can't!"

"But I wanted to tell him!"

"I SAID NO!"

Jun leaves them alone for a while.

Five beers, and Ohno offers to show Sakurai how he dances in the poles that Jun has in his living room. For someone who has been consuming alcohol, Ohno is doing pretty well.

"Wait… so those bars are for dancing?" Sakurai asks with a surprised expression. "I thought they were just to decorate the room!"

Jun arches an eyebrow at him. "You can't be serious. Where does that look like a decoration?"

"I don't know! Art isn't my forte," Sakurai says. "And since you like weird stuff…"

Jun hits the back of Sakurai's head. Ohno continues dancing without a care for the world.

Six beers, and Sakurai attempts to do it too. He falls on his face.

"Are you okay?" Jun asks when Sakurai doesn't stand up right away.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Sakurai says and attempts to stand up. He falls again.

Seven beers, and Ohno starts sobbing out of a sudden. "Sho-chan's face is so cute… it makes me cry…" he says and reaches for Sakurai's face again.

Like the previous time, Ohno ends up going for Sakurai's neck. This time he squeezes.

Sakurai coughs for a few minutes.

Eight beers, and Sakurai calls Jun 'Macchan'. Jun freezes when he hears it.

Nine beers, and they're hugging each other on the couch, babbling incoherent things. Jun shakes his head at the sight.

Ten beers, and Jun decides to put them to sleep.



"So… how are you guys feeling today?"

Both Ohno and Sakurai groan. They bury their heads under the blankets.

Jun laughs and goes straight to the kitchen to make some miso soup for those two. They got pretty wasted last night.

It was fun watching them, Jun has to admit.


Taking care of two hangover men isn't Jun's concept of a good morning, yet somehow this one is good enough by his standards.

They have breakfast together. Sakurai leaves first, saying that he has things to do. He promises Ohno to call him so that they can go fishing together on Sho's next day off. Ohno bids him goodbye cheerfully.

When Ohno leaves, he tells Jun to keep practicing his dance moves. "You could show Sho-chan next time," he adds with a wink.
The mention of next time makes Jun feel excited once again.

He's already making plans for it.



Nino has a smirk on his face when Jun starts their video call. "You're late! Partied too much with your boyfriends last night?"

Jun glares at him. "They're not my boyfriends! Ohno-san and Sakurai-san just got drunk and slept in my bed."

"Just slept?"

"Nino!"

Nino bursts out laughing. "You should have done something else!" he says. "Sho-chan is pretty hot. Sure you could have-"

"He was wasted, Nino. I wouldn't do anything to a guy who's so out of it."

"Such a gentleman," Nino says, giggling behind his hand. "What about the other guy? Ohno-san?"

"He was even worse," Jun replies. "He started dancing in the pole, even though he was barely able to stand upright. It's a miracle that he didn't hurt himself."

"Wait, wait, wait… so this Ohno-san is the Ohno-san?" Nino wiggles his eyebrows. Jun almost wishes he hadn't told Nino everything back in the hospital.

"Yes, he's that Ohno…"

"Well, well, well… that's quite interesting!" Nino says with a grin so wide that it could split his face in two.

"I told you, nothing happened," Jun insists. "We chatted, we drank some beers, and then we went to sleep. I was a lot more sober than them, so I put them to bed first. And that's it."

Nino pouts at him, seemingly disappointed. "Way to kill a guy's fantasies, Jun-pon!"

"Sorry about that."

Due to the lack of 'juicy' anecdotes from Jun, Nino spends most of their video call talking about the convention he's attending. He's met a lot of famous people during his stay at Los Angeles. "I'm best friends with Clint Eastwood now," Nino brags. "We went for dinner the other night. His treat, of course."

Jun has the feeling that Nino will never shut up about that when he comes back.

During their conversation, Jun realizes how much he's missed Nino. They haven't been friends for a long time, but seeing him every day has become an important part of Jun's routine, one that he doesn't want to give up.

Nino says that he will bring souvenirs for Jun, Ohno and Sakurai. "I want to meet them properly. I didn't have much time to talk with Sho-chan the last time, after all. Maybe the four of us can hang out at your place when I come back?"

It's a terrific idea. Jun tells Nino that.

When Nino asks Jun what he's been doing these days, Jun tells him about his shopping day with Sakurai. Nino congratulates him for getting over two of his fears: going outside and Sakurai  Sho. Jun protests that he was never afraid of Sakurai, but Nino doesn't leave him in peace until he admits that maybe he was a little bit nervous about Sakurai's reaction towards him.

They say goodbye when Nino must go to bed –or, to be more exact, when Jun makes him end the video call because he's falling asleep on top of his keyboard.

"Night, night, Jun-pon," Nino yawns.

Jun smiles. "Night, night, Nino."




"Matsumoto-kun, do you have time tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I… I want to take you somewhere, if that's okay with you."

"Oh, sure…"

"Then… can I pick you up in the morning?"

"What time?"

"Not too early, don't worry."

"It's okay, I guess."

"Very well. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you."


There's a wooden bucket in Jun's hand. Sakurai handed it to him when they arrived to the cemetery.

Jun drags his feet and follows Sakurai's lead. He didn't expect that Sakurai would choose this place for their second outing –because it's not a date, no matter what Nino says. Even if it was, it would be a rather odd choice, especially knowing whose grave they've come to visit.

"Here we are," Sakurai says.

They stop in front of the tombstone marked 'Aiba'. A name has been carved recently on a side of the stone.

Masaki.

It seems that nobody has come to visit the family grave in a while. They pour water over the tombstone and clean it carefully. Sakurai puts the flowers that they bought on their way here in a vase. He also lights a bunch of incense sticks so that they can start their prayers.

Jun closes his eyes and tells Masaki everything that has happened since he's gone. Jun talks about Nino, about how surprised he was to find out that Nino had been Masaki's friend when they were little. Jun tells Masaki that he thinks that they would have gotten along very well. Then Jun talks about Sakurai, who is actually not a bad guy, just like Masaki said. Lastly, Jun talks about Ohno, whom Masaki never met but would have probably liked, because Ohno is just that likable.

"I'll do my best to let go," Jun adds at the end. "I won't forget you, but I promise to move on. Will you keep watching over me?"

There is no reply, but Jun firmly believes that he has been heard.

Sakurai brought some sake for Masaki. They clean the grave again, bow, and then they leave. "Thanks for coming with me, Matsumoto-kun," Sakurai says.

Jun shakes his head. "Thanks to you for bringing me here."

They walk in silence until they reach Sakurai's car. "Do you want to go somewhere else, or should I take you home now?"

"Let's go for a cup of coffee," Jun says. "Ohno-san told me about a good place the other day. Want to check it out?"

"Sure," Sakurai replies.

They don't speak much during the ride. Sakurai seems preoccupied about something. His lips are moving from time to time, as though he was having a conversation with himself. That's a habit he's had since he was younger, and he only does it when there's something worrying him. Jun is intrigued about the reason, but chooses not to ask. If Sakurai wants to talk, he'll bring it up himself.

The place Ohno recommended him turns out to be an outdoor café. They choose a table that is right under a sakura tree. It's in full bloom, and Jun is glad that he took his allergy medicine before going out.

Sakurai orders an espresso and a piece of cheesecake, and Jun asks for a capuccino and a croissant. Just when the waiter leaves, Sakurai clears his throat. "Matsumoto-kun… there's something I want to tell you." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm leaving the agency."

Jun is shocked. "Why?"

"I'm tired." Sakurai sighs. "I've been tired for a couple of years already. The idea had crossed my mind a few times, but I didn't have the motivation to try and find something else to do with my life. When I saw what happened to you, I decided that I had had enough of it. The way they treat us isn't fair, and after seeing how they can abandon one of us just to protect their business, I just couldn't stay there anymore."

The waiter comes back with their order, interrupting their conversation for a moment. Jun observes Sakurai attentively, trying to read the expression on his face. As usual, Sakurai seems calm. He could be faking it to keep Jun from worrying about him. He's good at hiding his feelings after all.

When the waiter leaves, Sakurai faces Jun with a smile. "I'm very excited about this. The formal announcement is tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"I've been planning it for months," Sakurai smiles over his cup of coffee. He shoves a big piece of cheesecake in his mouth and immediately makes a sound that resembles a moan. "This is so good! You should try it!"

"Eh-" Jun can barely react before Sakurai shoves a piece of cheesecake in his mouth too.

"How is it?"

"It's good," Jun admits. Ohno was right, they have some very good sweets at this café. It's not the time to get distracted with that though. Jun swallows the cheesecake hastily. "But Sakurai-san… are you really sure about your decision?"

"I am!" Sakurai says. "Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job, but to keep working under the conditions that we are forced to accept is not what I want for my life. Not at this point."

Jun cannot argue anything against that. Their contracts limit their personal lives greatly. They earn well, but it's just a small percentage compared to what the agency gets for their work. And when they 'mess up', which can be anything from actual breach of contract to showing signs of having a life, their superiors turn their back on them.

"I guess I can understand that, but what will you do now?"

Sakurai grins without saying a word. He takes an envelope out of his jacket's inner pocket and hands it to Jun. There's a letter inside. Jun's eyes widen as he skims the contents. "Is this…?"

"Masaki told me about his plan a few times. I don't know if he mentioned anything when he was with you, but this was all he talked about." Sakurai says. "Long story short: I closed that deal he was negotiating, and now I'm ready to start anytime."

"Wow, that's great!" Jun says. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you…"

There's a short pause before Sakurai makes his question.

"Matsumoto-kun… would you be interested in working with me?"

Jun doesn't need to think twice before replying.

"Of course."



The news are everywhere that morning. Tabloids, radio, TV, internet… everyone is talking about the same thing:

Sakurai Sho is retiring from the entertainment industry.

The public's favorite theory says that Sakurai's father, a renowned politician, has finally coerced him into going back to the path his family had always wanted him to take, threatening to disown him if he didn't comply –never mind that Sakurai has actually been disowned since he was a teenager.

A second version says that Sakurai has an illegitimate child, which was unacceptable for the agency and led to the termination of his contract. Some others report that what happened is that Sakurai wants to get married with his alleged girlfriend –an actress who is engaged and about to get married to another man, not that the media know that yet–, who according to them is pregnant.

The third one, and here is when Jun starts feeling concerned, is based on a photograph taken the previous day, where Sakurai is seen having a 'romantic date' with Matsumoto Jun in a café. They go so far as to say that the two of them are in a relationship and just got a partnership certificate in Shibuya.

"Well… they got the partnership bit right," Sakurai says with a laugh as they watch the news.

Jun scowls at him. "It's not funny."

"Oh, come on! Nobody will believe that!"

"What the heck do you know?" Jun snaps at him. "You have NO idea of what people can do when they see shit like this on TV, okay? Your so-called fans must be now dissing you everywhere. The next time you go outside, don't be surprised if there's a mob of angry, mentally unstable people waiting for you."

"You're being paranoid, Matsumoto-kun."

"I'm not!" Jun insists. He's on the verge of tears. "I've seen what they do! I've lived it, Sakurai! They will hurt you!"

Sakurai takes a deep breath. "Come here," he says, opening his arms wide. Jun reluctantly approaches him. "Nobody will hurt me, okay."

"But-"

"You don't need to worry about me," Sakurai cuts him off. "I know you've been through a lot, and that you mean well by telling me this, but I'm sure that it will be alright."

"What if you're wrong?"

"Then I'll find a way to defend myself."

The topic is dropped, and Sakurai turns off the TV. Jun can't shake the uneasy feelings from his mind. He wants to believe that it won't be the same this time, that there's nothing to fear. Sakurai seems convinced of that, why can't Jun convince himself too?

They go out that day to check the truck. All the equipment is in perfect condition. Sakurai takes it to a garage, and then they go shopping for groceries and other things they need to make crepes. Nobody approaches them. There are no paparazzi, no angry fans, no scary psychopathic people waiting around the corner.

Jun still has his doubts, but it seems Sakurai was right.



"You're doing it wrong!"

Sakurai turns to look at Jun with a pout on his lips. "I did exactly what you told me to do!"

"You definitely did not!" Jun says. "If you had, these crepes wouldn't be so burned!"

"It's my first time!" Sakurai defends himself. "You can't expect me to do it perfect right away!"

Jun rubs his temples. "Fine… Let's try again, from the beginning."

On his second try, Sakurai burns only one side of the crepe and looks stupidly pleased with himself. Jun hates that happy Sakurai is too cute for him to genuinely get pissed.


It's their second day making crepes together.

"How is that, Satoshi-kun?" Sakurai asks with a grin as he hands Ohno his finished tuna crepe.

Ohno receives it with a happy face. Once he takes the first bite, his nose wrinkles. "I-It's good…" he says.

He looks a bit green, though.


It's on their third day of trying to make crepes that Jun realizes it…

Sakurai Sho is not meant to do this kind of work.

"I'm sorry…" Sakurai says, looking a bit down. "I should have thought it better before going ahead and buying that crepe truck, shouldn't I?"

If Jun was mean, he would say that yes, that's right. But despite Sakurai's non-existent cooking skills, he's been a great companion since they met again.

"You just need practice, Sho-san."

Sakurai turns towards him with blushing cheeks. "S-Sho-san?"

Jun realizes what he said just in that moment.

He blushes too.



The day Nino returns, they have a small party.

Nino is thrilled to hear about Jun's new business partnership with Sakurai. He is so pleased that he 'invests' some money on their crepe truck. "But you have to name a crepe after me," he says –Jun suspects he is drunk when he says that. "The 'Very Good-Looking Guy' crepe."

Sakurai and Ohno burst out laughing. "I want one too, then!" Ohno says. "Mine will be… umm…" He paces around the room, lips pursed in concentration. "Ah, I don't know! Just call it 'Satoshi's crepe' or something like that!"

"Fine… we'll consider those, right, Jun-san?" Sakurai says with a grin.

Nino and Ohno seem surprised at the use of Jun's first name. Sakurai is starting to look a bit pink, and he's looking away already.

"Sure thing, Sho-san," Jun replies. He ignores Nino's whistling and focuses only on Sakurai's happy expression. "Shall we name a crepe after you too? Perhaps the 'Nadegata Deluxe'?"

The other three start laughing, Sho being the loudest of them. "Only if yours is called the 'Thick Eyebrows Supreme'!" Sakurai replies with a smirk.

Their drinking session turns into a pseudo-brainstorming one. Nino suggests that they should take a picture of Jun in pink clothes, surrounded by a lot of candies, and use it to decorate the side of the truck. Ohno asks if they can use a fish as their logo instead. Sho only laughs and keeps drinking beer after beer.

At some point, Nino decides that he's going back to his apartment. Ohno goes with him, mumbling something about dancing fishes and dancing crepes.

When Jun closes the door after they leave, he sees Sakurai sitting on the couch, staring into the distance. Jun plops down next to him. "What are you thinking?" he asks.

Sakurai turns his face towards Jun. "You think we will succeed?"

"Of course we will!" Jun replies. "Why? You don't?"

"No, it's not that…" Sakurai sighs. "I'm… I guess I'm nervous, that's all."

"Sho-san…" Jun cups Sakurai's face. "We will be fine. Have a little faith in yourself!"

Sakurai nods. "Okay."

"Come on, let's go to bed." Jun stands up, but Sakurai pulls him back. He lands on Sakurai's lap. "Sho-san…?"

"Let me… just for a moment, please."

Jun lets Sakurai hold him tight against his chest. He can hear Sakurai's heart beating fast. "It will be alright," Jun says. "You're not alone in this, you know."

"I know," Sakurai says. "What I fear the most is that I might disappoint you…"

"You won't," Jun replies. "We make a good team."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

Sakurai seems to calm down after that. He doesn't let go of Jun, though. Jun actually feels so comfortable, that he starts feeling drowsy.

They fall asleep right there.

When they wake up, the first thing they see is each other's face. Surprisingly, it's not as awkward as Jun imagined.

"Slept well?" Jun asks.

Sakurai yawns and pulls him a bit closer. "Better than ever."



When Sakurai Sho puts his mind into something, he does it.

"Look at this, Jun-kun! It's perfect!" Sakurai says with a proud smile.

"Oh… you're right!" Jun agrees upon inspecting the crepe. "Finally!"

"Now eat it! I want to know what you think about the taste!"

Jun takes a bite and frowns. "Sho-san…"

"Yes?"

"What did you put in this crepe?"

Sakurai blinks. "The same as usual. Cream, strawberries, banana, and chocolate sauce."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Take a bite, and you tell me."

Sakurai seems incredulous at first. After the first bite, he realizes his mistake.

"That's soy sauce, Sho-san."


Jun labels everything in the kitchen so that Sho doesn't mix up ingredients anymore.

It works. Sho is able to make one of Masaki's signature crepes without messing up. He's so happy after his success that he decides to make every crepe in their menu without Jun's help.

A bad decision.

"Sho-san…"

"I'm sorry!" Sho lowers his head. "I swear I don't know where the recipe went wrong!"

"The recipe never goes wrong!" Jun snaps.

Sho avoids making eye contact.

"Next time, don't go adding weird things to the crepes!"

Nino has a stomachache for the rest of the day.



Ohno makes green aprons for them. He also offers himself to paint something on the side of the truck.

"WHAT… WHAT IS THIS?"

There's a giant Masaki, clad in his obnoxious Disco Star getup, painted on the side of the truck. The Masaki in the picture is dancing with his hands behind his head.

And next to him are Jun, Nino, Sakurai, and Ohno himself.

"This is brilliant!" Sakurai claps excitedly. "I love it!"

"Disco Star-sama's crepes will be a huge success," Nino says with a smile.

Jun keeps glaring at the picture.

"Do my eyebrows really look like that?"



The day they open for business is just perfect.

Jun drags Sakurai to the cemetery at wee hours of the morning. Sakurai complains all the way there. "Since when do you like waking up early anyway, eh?" Jun only laughs at him.

They clean the tombstone and say their prayers together. Once they are done, they rush back to the car and return to Jun's apartment to get everything ready. The containers with the food and other things they'd be needing are in the kitchen, waiting to be loaded into the truck.

Following Masaki's plan, they go to the park near Jun's apartment building. It's a perfect location indeed. There are many other residential buildings around, as well as a few schools. The spot Masaki preferred is located right across the playground, where most mothers and children spend the time. He really thought of everything.

"Nervous?" Jun asks Sakurai as they're about to open. They're inside the truck, with the windows still closed.

"Yeah." Sakurai chuckles.

Jun wraps his arms around Sakurai's shoulders and pulls him forward. Sakurai automatically circles his arms around Jun's waist. "It will be fine."

"Hmm…"

"You just have to remember what we practiced."

"Yeah…"

"And don't worry if it's not perfect. This is our first day-"

Sakurai catches Jun off guard. He pecks Jun's lips.

"What the heck was that?"

"Ah…" Sakurai fidgets. "A good luck kiss?"

Jun snorts. "Dude, if that's the good luck kiss, we are doomed already."

"Hey-!"

Jun leans and gives him a true good luck kiss. Sakurai is panting when they break it off, cheeks completely red. "That, Sho-san, is how you wish someone good luck." Jun winks at him and turns to open the windows. "Are you ready?"

"Yes."

When Jun finishes opening the windows, he finds himself face to face with none other than Nino.

"Hi there, Jun-pon!" Nino waves at him. He's wearing the yellow hoodie Jun gave him.

"What do you want?"

Nino pouts at him. "Is that the way to talk to a client?"

"You're not a client!"

"Oh, I believe I am," Nino takes out some bills. "What is your recommendation?"

Jun rolls his eyes at him. "You already know the menu. You helped us write it!" Nino continues staring at him in silence, a smirk formed on his lips. "We have the Super Funktastic Strawberry Aibanana & Cream Deluxe, if you like sweet things, as for the savory ones-"

"Aibanana? What the heck is an Aibanana?"

"It's just a banana, Nino."

"Oh, so there's nothing special about the Aibanana?"

"No."

"Huh… Well, if you say so. You're the expert in Aibananas."

"Nino…"

"Hmm?"

"Will you buy the damn crepe or not?"

Nino clicks his tongue. "Careful, Jun-pon! There are little children around here!"

"Listen, Nino-"

"Macchan," Sakurai says in a serious tone. "Just let Nino be."

"Yeah, you heard him, Macchan," Nino says with a grin.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Whoa! How violent! Oh-chan, Oh-chan! Help!"

Yes, even that part was perfect.



Sunshine is warm. Sunshine is bright.

Aiba Masaki was sunshine, but his light was extinguished.

Losing sunshine hurt. It was dark. It was cold. It was the worst thing ever.

But crying over sunshine can't last forever because when sunshine is gone, the stars appear.

Wouldn't want to miss them.

Date: 2016-09-11 04:30 pm (UTC)
lilly0: (Arashi)
From: [personal profile] lilly0
I hardly happens that I cry over a fic, but here I did. (I kinda missed the warning in your header... well, yeah, my fault ^^ But I'm kinda glad I did, because it might have stopped me from reading this. It's sad, and crushing and at the same time there is also a lot of healing and comfort in it. But I cried so much that I had a hard time breathing at the end of this ^^
Good job, anon-san, really good job!!!!!

Date: 2016-09-11 06:54 pm (UTC)
learashi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] learashi
Thank you! I am just reserving a place for my comments. I promise to come back as soon as I have read this.

I am lost for words Author-san. How you managed to take my random, jumbled prompts and turn them into something so beautiful I will never know.

The following are just a few of the things that I loved about this:
The pure and shining Masaki, who still managed to make other people's lives better even after his death.
The post-it note beginning to Nino and Jun's deep friendship.
Jun's abiding love for Masaki even after their breakup and his ultimate breakdown.
Jun's relationship with Sho that stretched back even further than I imagined, ultimately leading to a new beginning - once again orchestrated by Masaki.
Ohno as the sexy dance instructor.
Even your commentary on the Idol industry, the media and fans who think that they have ownership over those they worship.
And lastly Jun and his bonsai tree - savior of his sanity.

I think that I have only ever cried this much while reading one other fic before and yet it is ultimately uplifting even through the sadness. I was surprised that I managed to make it through the visit to the cemetery after I had finally managed to stop crying - but then you had to put Disco-sama on the side of that darn truck (I am tearing up again as I write this).

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I think that I love you <3<3.
Edited Date: 2016-09-12 12:44 am (UTC)

Date: 2016-09-11 07:10 pm (UTC)
leiva21: (juntoshiback)
From: [personal profile] leiva21
Oh my god, this fic left me a crying mess. It's really hard to read about what happen to Masaki but then I can't not continue to read what happen to Jun afterward. Masaki had really a great impact in Jun's life, even when they had broken up but they still continue being friend, they still care and in love with each other. But then it was short-lived (oh god I want to cry again T-T)
The way Nino was eased into the story was great and when he became Jun's supported it even greater. He helps Jun to heal and their sweet kiss kinda make their friendships closer without unnecessary drama. And of course Sho ended being with Jun, because it probably meant to be that way. Perhaps Masaki had seen it earlier. Then how they realizing Masaki's dream of that crepe truck was such a good ending. And also thank you for not making Ohno the bad guy
Even if this makes me cry so much, and even if I dislike major character death, it's a great story. Thank you writer-san

Date: 2016-09-11 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] koi-choshi.livejournal.com
I knew that I was in for a crying mess when I saw the warnings.

Aiba as Jun's sun and the others as the stars are such great metaphors for this story. I loved how everyone affected Jun's life in a major way, but at the same time it also falls on Aiba. I didn't expect that Aiba would die here, seriously, and it left me wondering what sould happen next. And I thought Jun dying himself will be the end but it's still not. It's really great because I always believe that there should be hope even in that kind of darkness he experienced.

My favorite part were the life scenes flashing in front of Jun's eyes. It's incredible.

Thanks for writing this!

Date: 2016-09-12 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeon-avalanthe.livejournal.com
Amazing. This was simply amazing.
The flow if events, the characterization, the happenings.. This was just, perfect.

Jun has always had something about Sho. But he was young and insecure. And then he met Masaki. Masaki who was able to put colour to his world, and for the first time in his life, Jun felt such a strong affection towards another man, a different feeling than the teenager crush he used to have towards Sho.
Masaki is like Jun's lifeline- that's why Jun can never let him go despite everything. And Masaki had wanted Jun to take the risk for him- for them- but knew that he was asking for the impossible so he decided to move on with his life, hoping that it might mend his heart even the slightest bit. But Jun meant too much to Masaki so he eventually gravitated back to where Jun is, and they walk forward, trying to support each other through their suppressed love.

It was not an over-statement when you said that a part of Jun died when Masaki left forever.
Jun knew, that Masaki, his Masaki who was always so full of dreams, would never blamed him for what had happened. That he would want Jun to keep on living and move forward and face his fears. But he didn't want to allow himself such satisfaction. He felt like he had to suffered through his guilt because it would be so much easier if it was his fault. Because he would have someone to blame for everything and anything that had happened.
And that's when Nino came into the picture.

Nino, with all his brattiness glory, waltzes in into Jun's life, bringing back the light Jun once had lost. He might have felt it- he and Masaki used to be bestfriends after all- and so he felt the need to interfere.
Life is not easy after that, but Jun was getting there. He made friends. He talked with his family again. And he finally confronted his feeling for Sho after a long time.
Masaki's passing was hurtful, but it brought many good things to Jun's life. Jun might still be his emo-self otherwise. It's just typical of Masaki. To still be able to bring smiles to others even after he's gone :')

Thank you for this very beautiful piece, author-san. You nailed this one amazingly.

Date: 2017-02-17 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hatorisachiyo22.livejournal.com
I love this story!! It's amazing!! 😍 I swear this should be made into a movie!!
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