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[personal profile] stormymood posting in [community profile] arashi_exchange
A piece of rainbow for [personal profile] yumn_yumi 


Title: IF I COULD STAY ONE MORE NIGHT
Pairing: MATSUMOTO JUN x NINOMIYA KAZUNARI
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: Will it change, when you can stay one more night?
Notes: Hi! Yumi! Finally I write for you. This exchange is always so great. I try make a fanfic for you and I try my best. I hope you like it!! For everyone that happens to read this fic. I hope you like it!!


Matsumoto’s POV

I get out of my car. In front of me, the home that I left year ago. It's still the same, still looking warm and homey. It's still vivid in my memory, the night I decided to leave this house and forget all the memories I made in there.

But here I am. Coming back to this house. No, not because I want to continue making memories, but because I want to see this house for the last time. This house will be destroyed soon. And I want to see it for one last time. For reminding myself, that I made beautiful and painful memories in this little building.

It started two years ago. My career as a model was starting to go downhill. The clients wanted a younger model and did not book me as often any more. The jobs that were left for me were just simple jobs that I didn't earn a lot of money. I was thrown out of my apartment. That was when my boyfriend Nino suggested that we should live together. Within a week, we were looking for a home in a suburban area. It was not easy, but we found this house.

It was my birthday when we moved in together. For me and Nino, this was indeed our home.

I started my career as a columnist for a fashion magazine. I didn't make as much money as during my modeling era, but at least I had enough to live. Nino was a programmer. Back then, he made more money than me, but because he was stingy as hell, each of us paid half of the rent.

"Hey, Jun." I put down my glass and saw Nino standing outside the kitchen with a T-shirt and shorts.

"Hey. Hungry?"

"Yeah, we ran out of eggs and bread and meat and everything." I frowned.

"I mean, our refrigerator is empty. We forgot to do our monthly shopping, again." I laughed.

We were working at home, but we always forgot to do our monthly shopping. We only did it when we had already run out of everything.

That day, we went to the store. We looked like an ordinary couple that was looking for discounts and was having an argument over what type of meat to buy. We tried to match our likings, and our favorite brands. I changed my shampoo, soap, and even my toothpaste to match with his. He changed his ramen to healthier food like mine. We were a happy couple who supported each other. At least that's what I thought.

Nino didn't really have any close friends. There was only Aiba Masaki, who had been his buddy since kindergarden. I had met him. He had a bubbly personality and was fun to talk to. He visited us countless times. The last time he came was a month ago. That time he brought a men. Judging from his clothes, I bet he was some manager of a company, and Aiba told Nino that they would get married soon. Nino was in ecstasy; I could see it in his eyes. We had countless talks about Aiba and Sakurai -Aiba's fiancé- at lunch and dinner.

I had never felt jealous with Nino, because I am the one who won his heart. I was the sole winner without a competitor. Nino must have felt like that too. Despite my past as a model, when of course I had been posing with sexy girls for sexy photo shoots. But Nino's personality showed that he wasn't jealous because of that. He accepted me and I accepted him. We completed each other.

"When will you finish the program?" I asked Nino when we went to bed.

Nino was looking for a comfortable position to fall asleep. "I don't know. I only need to finish it and then start with the beta testing, " he answered after he had found the perfect position.
I turned my head so I could see him clearly. "I don't want you to overwork. You already got dark rings under your eyes."

"I am not overworking, Jun. You don't need to worry. It's all because I'm playing games all night."

I laughed. "So you are gaming instead of doing your job?" I started to tease him.

"Hey, I need to relax too. I will get crazy if I only see coding every second of my life, you know."

I always made time to tease him, every time before we slept. It was another way of getting some quality time. And well, I did like this stuttering and blushing side of him.

The message came a week after we had done our monthly shopping. I didn't think anything of it at first. I even immediately deleted it. Well, it wasn't important, was it? I thought that it would stop, but it didn't. Two days later, the message came again. Same massage, just different words. I was not paying any attention to the second massage too.

I started feeling strange after the forth message, it came a week after the first one. This one was longer and contained more information. And I started to read it carefully. And this one, I did not delete.

I never told Nino about that message. He too, never asked. He did check it but it never became one of our topics. Our daily life did not change. We still ate breakfast together, worked as usual, and had our nights together.

After that, the message wasn't sent again. But there was a fifth message, when Nino got out of the house to go to his company. He finally submitted the program. He had finished the basics and it was ready to be beta-tested.

The fifth message contained only one sentence. But it really made me think the whole day. And this message was also the moment when Nino started to worry about my behavior.

"I want you to be honest with me, Jun. Something has been bothering you these past days."

I couldn't look him in the eye. I averted my eyes to look for another object.

"Jun. Please, share with me. We are together in this relationship, Jun. I want you to share with me."

"I can't talk to you about it right now, Nino. I want to solve it by myself first, before I tell you all about it. I promise, soon you will understand. But not now."

Nino took my word for it. He as not asking about it anymore, and I promised I would talk to him soon. Our life continued. It started to change. Nino took another project, he became busier than before. I went to fashion shows more frequently. Suddenly my job became more demanding, but considering that this was fashion, of course I tackled the job. I don't know, we didn't really have some quality time for a week, or probably more.

There was no message coming after I had made my promise to Nino that night. I started to forget about them. The messages were still there.

Another message came, a month after we had done our monthly shopping. We hadn't done it again, we were more likely to eat out or have takeaways. The groceries were in there, in our kitchen. This message probably was the turning point. I paid a lot of attention to this message. I thought about it and I even reread it several times. The message took all of my attention.

That night, I saw Nino sleep in our bed. When had been the last time he had slept properly? Had he already finished the program? I sat beside him, looking carefully at him. Despite his busy schedule, his face didn't really show any tiredness. He still looked young.

I patted Nino's head. When had been the last time I had done this? Nino really looked like a little kid, and it was always fascinating to watch him. So pure and innocent.

I really took my time to admire him before I got up from our bed. I looked up to our cupboard, there lay my luggage. I took it into my hand.

I put a sheet of paper onto our nightstand. I kissed Nino for the last time that night.


Ninomiya's POV

It had been a long time since I had had some proper sleep. The project for the new program had really drained me. What I wished to see when I'd wake up was my boyfriend's face in front of me. It had felt strange, those past days. Jun had not been the Jun I knew. He was hiding something, and I was sure of it. I had waited for him to talk to me, but he hadn't opened up a bit. I was looking for Jun that morning, he was not in front of his notebook, working. Not even in the kitchen, preparing our breakfast. I called him, thrice, and he did not once pick up. I put my phone on the nightstand and gave up. That was when I saw a yellow paper, which hadn't been there the night before.


Dear, Nino.

It's me, Jun.

I am sorry for suddenly leaving you.

I am sorry that you didn't find me in our bed this morning.

I'm leaving you, Nino. I am leaving you.

I am sorry I haven't told you from the beginning. I couldn't or rather I didn't know how to talk to you.

You remember my old manager? He texted me. Telling me that I could restart my career.

He told me there is a runway show. It's so tempting.

At first, I didn't believe it. You know that I am a flop. There's no way I could restart my career. But my manager really persuaded me. He knew it would be hard to make me like before. But it could be possible.

You know, it's always been my dream to become a model. And it's always been my wish to restart my career. And the opportunity came.

You always said to take every opportunity that comes, who knows... But it has never come for a second time.

And I'll take this opportunity. I choose to take the chance to restart my career.

Nino, you need to know, I didn't do this because I don't love you. I do want to be with you. But you know that it will be hard. And I want to respect you and your job, which would stay behind the curtain. I know you don't like being in the spotlight. That's why I choose to leave you instead.

I'll never fall out of love with you, Nino. You need to know that.

I know we are financially stable, at the moment. But we'll never know. You know, my payment for being a columnist is way below than my normal wage, right? And we can't depend on you. Yes, you may get a lot of money, but your wage is also unstable. I want to take care of my financials too, Nino. I want to take this chance to get better.

Nino, if I could stay one more night, I would want to say sorry to you in person, not by a letter like this.

If I could stay one more night, I would want to tell you that I don't want to leave you.

If I could stay one more night, I would want you to know that I want you here, with me, restarting my career, and we would overcome every obstacle together.

If I could stay one more night, I would take you to see the world.

If I could stay one more night, I would want to explain that you will always be the one in my heart.

If I could stay one more night, you would know that I am not leaving you because I'm falling out of love, because I never will.

I am sorry I couldn't stay with you for another night. I am so sorry.

I am sorry I couldn't stay another night, I want to, but I need to choose.

I am sorry for choosing my career over you.

I am sorry prioritizing my career, not you.

I am sorry for choosing to leave you and not stay with you for another night.

I know you won't forgive me, but still, I truly apologize, Nino.

Thank you for all those wonderful years. I will never forget you...

Our journey will be my greatest memory, and that will never change.

Thank you for letting me into your life.

Thank you for loving me and letting me love you.

Love,
Matsumoto Jun


That was Jun's letter, explaining why he was not there this morning. I folded the paper again and put it back onto our nightstand. I took my phone and lay on my bed, calling someone.



"Hey, it's me, sorry for calling this early."

"......"

"I just want you to know, Jun is finally leaving me and got out of the house."

"......"

"Yeah. I am delighted too. You know it. We've been waiting for this, right?"

"....."

“You should be grateful, he didn’t stay for another night,”

“…..”

"I'll move straight in with you. I'll put this house up for sale, soon. Don't worry. Thought my belongings were already in there. It'll not be long till we will live together."

"....."

"Fine, fine. Just go back to sleep again."

"...."

"I know. I love you too, Ohno Satoshi."



 
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