[identity profile] stormymood.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] arashi_exchange
A piece of rainbow for [livejournal.com profile] xdestroying Part 5


Three days have gone by without Sho sending him a message or knocking on his door, and Jun has started to lose hope of the current situation. Not that he has any in the beginning, but he wants to trust Sho’s promise to come back to him.

But after all, even a murderer can’t understand, can’t accept him for what he is, and it devastates him.

Jun doesn’t try to go and start a conversation with Sho. They live beside each other, but Jun wants to respect Sho’s thinking time by not randomly knocking on his door, or waiting for him to get out of the house so they would meet.

Instead, Jun does his business as how he usually does, even though he can’t resist himself from staring at Sho’s door for a while before leaving the house.

He misses Sho, but if Sho decides that he doesn’t want to be with him, there is nothing he can do but respect that.

Aiba and Nino hadn’t said a word ever since they saw Jun scowling when Aiba did as much as offering him coffee. They have been with Jun for too long to understand what’s going on without having to ask a word.

Jun is thankful because his friends are so understanding; at least he doesn’t have to go through the details of why Sho left him. Because he can’t, doesn’t want to explain about the nature of themselves to other people.

And because it still stings every time he remembers Sho.

Probably he should plan to move out, Jun thinks. It’s going to be a good thing to do; he wouldn’t have to share a building with the man who reminds him of his suffering.

Jun makes a mental note to look up for new housing options. It’s not something he wants to do because he likes his new place. But that’s where Sho lives, and Jun doesn’t want to be reminded of something that has been so close to him and slipped away just as fast whenever he opens his eyes in the morning.

It’s only three days, but Jun thinks that he doesn’t need to wait for more. He had seen it when he first looked at Sho’s eyes after his confession. Sho had doubt, and it’s most probably because he doesn’t want to be involved with Jun now, knowing how he actually is.

The apartment building has been looking as quiet as it’s usually been. Jun sighs as he gets in through the door. It has been another rough day for Jun; he has snapped to at least five people before the lunch break and three after.

And if it’s not for Aiba literally holding him back, Jun would have thrown his computer to the floor.

When Jun almost reaches his floor, barely can see the hallway, he sees a pair of feet in front of Sho’s door. It must be Sho. Jun stops in his track, can’t decide to go faster so he can greet Sho out of courtesy or if he has to wait until Sho disappears behind his door.

In the end, Jun continues his pace, going one step at a time on the stair. His heart beats faster as he reaches the end.

Sho must have heard his steps because then he turns his face to look at Jun. Jun hasn’t expected it, so he freezes, his face doesn’t show any expression.

Then Sho pulls his lips to a smile, and it breaks Jun so much to see it; Sho doesn’t smile like how he usually does. He puts on a forced smile. Jun can see it, know it when people force a smile for him, and know that Sho is doing exactly that makes Jun want to cry.

Until Sho finally disappears inside, Jun can’t move from where he’s standing. When there’s no Sho anymore on the hallway, Jun still can’t move. He really doesn’t want to go inside his house right now, knowing that Sho will be just next door.

Knowing that even with that situation Sho still chooses to distant himself from Jun is too much for Jun to take in.

---

Thursday has been horrible for Jun. Because of the tense he’s keeping inside himself since he saw Sho smiling bitterly at him. He didn’t go to watch something to let his emotion go because that will only remind him of what makes his relationship with Sho crumble and it will only worsen his mood.

With his mood foul and there’s no way of channeling that out, Jun becomes like a landmine for everyone around him. One false step will result on Jun blowing up in their face; another one will bring them to the brink of death.

It’s about two in the afternoon when Jun gets called into his manager’s office. Yamaguchi-san is a chill man, usually, but when someone messes up, he won’t hesitate to tell them right to their face.

And that’s the treatment that Jun receives.

There have already been too many complaints from his coworker about his intolerable behavior, and Yamaguchi-san tells him to go home early today to sort himself together. He’s also forced to take the next day off, seeing as tomorrow is Friday already and it’s the weekend after that.

Yamaguchi-san only requests that Jun come back to the office on Monday without a frown on his face.

It upsets Jun more than he thought. Jun is a person who always tries to be professional at doing his job, and doesn’t let his personal issues taking control with how he does it.

But he also has some anger issues that need to be resolved, which he can usually channel in something else. The fact that he can’t upsets Jun even more.

“Probably you need to see a therapist, Matsumoto,” Yamaguchi-san suggests him after he’s done with his talk about letting Jun stay at home for the rest of the week. “They might know a better way to deal with that.”

Jun’s eyes go dark at the mention of a therapist. He hates that profession with all his heart. The experience he had in the past was so terrible that he can’t even deal with it being mentioned again.

He didn’t tell Sho about it before, but being beaten up by a strange-looking man with a white coat isn’t supposed to help him deal with his anger management, is it?

Until now, Jun has no idea who the owner the knife he kept under his pillow since he found it is. But he’s so thankful because, without that, he might haven’t gotten out of the facility alive.

Jun knows he isn’t supposed to assume every therapist in Japan to be all the same, but he doesn’t want to try and fail again. He has neither the time nor the money to deal with something that’s supposed to make him better, but on the contrary, makes him worse instead.

He just needs some time to get back to his feet after Sho left him, that’s all. And he supposes he has to do it within the next weekend, or he might put his job in a dangerous position.

So he excuses himself out of Yamaguchi-san’s office, giving his boss a word of assurance that he will try his best to be back on Monday sound and composed. He walks to his desk to gather his belongings before waving to Aiba, letting his friend knows that he’s going to go home.

Aiba might have known it since he got called to Yamaguchi-san’s office. For all Jun knows, Aiba might be one of the people who filed the complaint.

Jun sighs. Now he doesn’t know what to do once he gets home. Perhaps cooking can help him sort his mind. He makes a mental note to stop by a supermarket on his way home.

No other person will eat the food but himself, but that shouldn’t be a reason for him not to do it because that’s how it’s used to be for him anyway.

Jun tries to look for activities that he can do to fill his Friday on his way home, and then he remembers that he has to find another place to move to. It might be premature, but if he’s not going to be in a relationship with Sho, he doesn’t think he can’t live in that place anymore.

Besides, it doesn’t sound like a good idea to live next door to a murderer who had admitted that he had ever had the intention to kill Jun.

---

On Friday morning, an email notification wakes Jun up. Jun gets his phone lazily, only opens one of his eyes to check who’s emailing him so early in the morning.

When he reads the sender of the email, he jolts and sits up on his bed. The email is from Sho.

Jun reads the email once, twice, three times. He makes sure that it isn’t Sho being a coward and deciding to end their relationship officially via email.

It isn’t about that, thankfully. Sho just emails him to ask if he’s going to be home later tonight. Sho wants to meet him, he said in the email, and wonders if tonight will be a right time for Jun.

Just like the other time when Sho asked Jun out for their first date, Sho didn’t put too many details in the email. He just mentioned that if Jun is okay with that, Sho is going to come to Jun’s place. And if it’s okay, Sho will bring food for the both of them.

There are too many thoughts running inside Jun’s mind when he reads the email. What could it possibly be about? Sho wants to talk with him. Has he finally decided that they can’t be involved anymore? Does he want to meet Jun to tell him about that?

Is this really the end that is going to come to him?

Jun takes a deep breath and puts his phone back on the top of the drawer, facing down. He doesn’t want to answer it. Not now. It will become real if he does, and he doesn’t want it.

If Sho is going to end things tonight, he has to be ready first. He wants to make sure that he will be at least able to collect himself after what Sho is going to tell him.

After countless times of rolling on his bed, trying to get back to sleep but failing, Jun grunts and takes his phone. He composes a short agreement on the arrangement and sends it before he can think twice about it.

The reply comes almost instantly; Jun hasn’t even put his phone down.

From: sakurai.sho@gmail.com
To: matsumoto_jun830@i.softbank.jp
Subject: Re: Are you free tonight?
Oh, great then! I’m looking forward to tonight, Jun.

Sho

---

The rest of the day feels like forever for Jun. He has decided to stay home and prepare himself for what might come later instead of going outside. After making himself breakfast, Jun eats his breakfast while watching the news on TV.

It distracts him a bit to watch the latest information about the what is currently happening in the country.

But then a crime news section starts, and Jun gets excited a little before he remembers about Sho. Sighing, he switches off his TV with the remote control. It seems like there will be no way to distract himself from Sho.

He goes for a shower after breakfast, and after getting out all freshened up and relaxed, he decides to go outside. Probably grabbing coffee outside and sitting in a coffee shop alone will help him get his mind off of Sho. The thought of being alone fills him with dread, but at least he will have coffee.

Probably it will be nice to have lunch outside too.

Jun goes to a fancy looking coffee shop near the building. He has never been there before. Given the fact that he just moved here some weeks ago, and then constantly being occupied by work—and Sho—he hasn’t gotten much time to look around the neighborhood.

When Jun gets his coffee order—a latte with extra espresso shot—he turns around to find a face of an old friend. It’s Oguri Shun, his childhood best friend that he hasn’t met for years since they went to different colleges.

Shun looks so happy to see him, he grins so wide like he used to do when they’re small kids playing together on the neighborhood’s playground. He looks much better than when he was young, though. His face gives a softer vibe, and he sports a short, trendy haircut.

He also keeps some facial hair that suits him well. He doesn’t look old, but he inevitably emits a vibe of maturity.

He looks much better than Jun now, and Jun can still remember all the comparison they’ve done on the love letters they received on February fourteenth one time back when they were high schoolers. How Jun got almost twice of what Shun received, and Jun had laughed at him back then.

Ah… how time has changed. Now if they’re about to have girls writing to Shun and him again, he will be lucky if there’s one letter written for him instead of for Shun.

They take a table for the both of them, and they have a conversation to catch up on things. Shun is an actor and model now. He works for an entertainment agency—not that one owned by Johnny Kitagawa, he insists when Jun asks—and he says himself that he’s pretty big in the entertainment world.

Jokingly, of course, because that’s what they always do even from back then.

Well, there is no doubt in him being a big name, though, Jun can’t deny that. There was one point where everywhere Jun looks, there’s Shun’s face.

It was a phase that was pretty grim in Jun’s life, because his career seems to be moving to nowhere and then there’s the childhood friend he has always been competing with, seeming to be having a very successful career.

That hasn’t changed much, actually, but to have Shun in person in front of him definitely feels much better than seeing his face on billboards. Despite the intimidating impressive look, Shun is still the same person he was back then. Shun still has that tendency of competing with Jun, as he has always had all along, but Jun knows that it’s because Shun cares about Jun a lot.

Because that’s how Jun feels about Shun too.

“Enough about me,” Shun ends his story about his upcoming movie project. He shifts a little on his seat. “How are you holding up?”

To that question, Jun wants to answer ‘I am not’. But he doesn’t say it. It doesn’t feel right to tell a depressing story of his life to an old friend he hasn’t met since forever.

So Jun goes with, “I’m fine, I guess. Life hasn’t been as exciting as yours, like usual.”

Shun laughs at that. “Oh, come on, Jun-kun! I can’t believe that. I know you, you always find something interesting to do. Oh, wait! Is there someone?”

Jun chokes when he hears that question, and it only spurs Shun more. His eyes glint with curiosity as well as amusement.

“No, there isn’t,” Jun replies to Shun. He shoots the glare that he knows is intimidating, but then he remembers that it’s Shun that’s here with him.

Shun is Jun’s first best friend, and everything he does will not really mean anything. Shun knows him since the both of them were small kids, and they’re probably best friends because Shun is the only one dare to keep teasing Jun even though Jun scowls at him.

But Shun is very kind, too. When Jun got out of the facility with bruises on his body, Shun didn’t ask anything about that. They went to play just like usual, and then after that Shun would take Jun to go eating in an expensive place. “My treat,” he’d say.

Shun always shows that he cares, and when Jun asked why he’s staying through Jun’s emotional meltdown and all, he answered simply, “We’re comrades, Jun-kun. Comrades don’t leave each other when they’re in difficulties. They will make their comrade feel better instead.”

Granted, the time in Jun’s life without Shun in it is the time that’s so difficult for him. But it can’t be helped, they have different dreams and aspirations, and Jun is glad that Shun didn’t give up to thrive for them.

Besides, Jun found another person who stood through thick and thin of his college time. Another person who he has stopped meeting because they didn’t go to work in the same company.

“Ah. So you had your heart broken quite recently,” Shun points out. Jun nods and sips his coffee. It’s actually surprising that he can’t really hide his feelings from Shun, even though they haven’t met each other for at least five years.

Shun changes the topic after that, sparing Jun from talking about his broken heart, and Jun feels thankful.

He also doesn’t ask a thing about Jun’s family, means he didn’t forget how Jun feels about his family. Shun is really a good friend, Jun thinks.

Sometimes it passes Jun’s mind that it would probably be really easy for the both of them if they go on and hit it off. Shun is the only person who has stood by Jun through anything, and Jun dares to say that he has done the same for Shun.

But then Jun swats the thought off. It’s impossible for them to do it. Not only because Shun is straight, but because it would be like dating a brother for Jun and it would feel really weird for the both of them.

Their conversation ends when Shun says he has to go back to work, and just then he remembers to ask Jun why he isn’t at work.

“I got dismissed,” Jun says, “I mean, my boss told me to get the day off today because I was having a pretty bad meltdown at work since Monday,” Jun smiles bitterly.

Shun’s expression changes, and then he pulls Jun up to hug him. “I hope everything will get better for you, buddy.”

When they let go, Jun feels lighter. He waves a bit too energetically to Shun. Then he checks his watch and sees that it’s already way past lunch time. Jun decides to get some muffin then, to stuff himself with something for the moment.

He doesn’t really feel hungry anyway, and Sho will bring food later for dinner. Jun doesn’t want that food to go to waste.

It takes Jun a while to get back to the apartment building because he decides to look around the neighborhood while he has the chance. Even though he’s going to leave it not long after this, it’s always nice to look around an area.

When Jun reaches his building, he climbs the stairs calmly. He feels calm after the brief meeting with his old friend, and he even feels calmer after going to see around the place.

But then he reaches his floor. And in the hallway, he sees Sho, bringing boxes of takeouts and a phone on his hand. Jun panics for a moment, and then he checks his phone. Apparently, he has taken too much time strolling around; the clock on his phone says it’s 5 p.m.

Sho stands by his door as Jun calls for him. Sho turns to look at him, surprised.

“Why are you not in your work clothes?” Sho asks.

Jun looks down at what he’s wearing, wondering if it’s that obvious. Then he sees that he’s wearing a v-neck, a pair of sweatpants, and sandals.

Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

Jun sighs, he goes through the story again of his boss telling him to take a day off today because of reasons while opening the door for Sho. When he turns around to tell Sho to get in, he sees Sho looking at him with guilt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think—,” he stutters.

“Do you want to get in or not?” Jun cuts him midway. He doesn’t want Sho to look at him that way. If Sho wants to leave, then Jun will let him. But he doesn’t need that look of pity to be thrown at him.

Sho shuffles in his attempt to get in, and Jun has to hold his arm when he almost falls there on Jun’s doorway. Jun sighs and helps Sho by taking the takeout boxes out of his hands and to the dining table. Sho mumbles a thank you for the gesture.

They proceed to eat in silence, the tense filling the air around them. Jun doesn’t want to ask yet about why Sho is here, and it seems like Sho doesn’t want to explain just yet either.

When the both of them finish their food, Jun doesn’t offer Sho desserts. He instead goes to the fridge to take two bottles of water and gives one to Sho. Then he returns to his chair, looking at Sho taking sips of his bottle.

Jun stares at Sho’s Adam’s apple moving up and down as he swallows. He sighs and averts his gaze when he realizes that looking at that isn’t going to help him feel easier about their separation.

“I have been thinking,” Sho says suddenly, and Jun returns his eyes to Sho. He puts his water bottle aside. “Since you told me you wanted to be this part of life with me, I feel like, I’m not so sure about that.”

Jun inhales sharply. Here it goes, he thinks. Here is the part where Sho will pull the trigger and breaks his heart to pieces.

“You said you’re obsessed with crimes and murders, but there’s a lot of difference with watching it and actually be involved in it,” Sho speaks every word like he has been rehearsing it.

Jun hates it. Jun hates how Sho sounds like he has run this over and over in his head, while Jun has no idea, doesn’t know how exactly Sho will say it when he tried to prepare himself for the heartbreak that he will receive.

“So I’ve been thinking, and I think—” Sho scratches the back of his head, seems like he’s trying to get the right words to say to Jun.

Jun holds his breath. This is it.

“I think I should show you how murder is really like in reality before I let you decide if you still want to be with me or not,” Sho completes his sentence in one breath.

Jun closes his eyes. That’s it. Sho has said it. Now he’s going to—wait did Sho just say he will—“What do you mean with that?” Jun snaps his eyes open, blearily looking at Sho.

“I mean,” Sho takes a breath, and Jun finally sees how that affects Sho as much, if not more, as it affects him. “I want you to help me plan the next murder I’m going to do, and I want you to watch it as I do it.”

Jun’s eyes widen in shock. Out of all things he expects, Sho asking for his help on murder isn’t one of those. He can’t believe himself. “Are you,” Jun tries to ask, his voice croaks, “are you serious?”

Sho nods, but then he takes a breath and answers, “Yes.”

“This is—”

“Bizarre, I know. But this is the only way I can make sure that you had meant it, understood the consequences, when you told me that you want this. With me,” Sho replies, eyes piercing to Jun.

Jun tries to breathe normally. So many things are going on in his head. There’s surprise, because what Sho offers isn’t something he expects. There’s a slight anger because Sho made him wait for days and he has been waiting in despair to then receive something that is more exciting than heartbreaking.

But out of everything else, Sho’s last sentence triggers a feeling that’s so strong, it overcomes all other feelings Jun has.

A painful sting to his heart, knowing that Sho doesn’t trust him enough when he said he’s willing to accept Sho as he is. That Sho has to go and take this measure only to make sure that Jun is ready to be in Sho’s life.

Well if that is what Sho wants, then Jun will take it as a challenge. He knows he wants to be with Sho, and the days he spent mourning over the fear of losing him only proves it more.

If Sho wants Jun to plan a murder for him, then so that’s what Jun will do.

Jun tells Sho as such, and Sho had reluctantly agreed when Jun said that they should move to Sho’s place to plan things better. Everything they need is in Sho’s place, after all.

---

It takes them a moment to get everything ready, but they are now. Jun and Sho have spent the whole night last night planning and talking about what they’re going to do. Jun hasn’t backed down once, and he could see Sho being a little bit uncomfortable with that.

But he could also sense that Sho is thrilled that he is so ready to jump and help Sho when all Sho did was ask once.

Jun could feel his excitement hitting the top mark when they’re done with their planning. Sho had invited him to stay in his place last night because they’re going to spend the next day together anyway, and Jun had agreed.

That night, though, they didn’t have sex. Jun had initially taken the far side of the bed, didn’t want to intrude on Sho’s space of the bed. They hadn’t exactly made it clear about where their relationship really stands on, after all.

But then Sho patted his shoulder and pulled him to face Sho on the bed, and he didn’t say a word when Sho pulled him to a hug. That close, Jun could feel Sho’s heart beating fast, and he dared himself to assume that Sho was excited for what’s about to come.

The morning after, Jun woke up to an empty bed, and almost freaked out, thinking that Sho had left, but then Sho got into the bedroom bringing two cups of coffee, and Jun felt relieved beyond belief.

Jun felt elated that the night before was real and wasn’t just a fragment of Jun’s imagination.

They’re heading to a bar now, seeing from Sho’s investigation that their target—Jun still shivers every time he refers to that person as such in his head—goes to that place often on Saturday nights. Jun had asked Sho to probably make an appointment first, but Sho outright refused.

Sho said that he had never made an appointment with any of his targets, to make sure that there’s no evidence that they even knew each other. He assured Jun that meeting him by chance was the best way for them to meet him.

So Jun had agreed, and that’s how they decided to go to the bar.

Sho’s investigation has been proven to be useful. Thirty minutes after they arrived at the place, they spot their target getting in. Sho then goes to greet him as how they have planned it; Sho is going to try to sweet talk the man to take him home, and Jun will be a neighbor who’s just there for a ride.

Initially, Jun had wanted to come out as a couple, but then Sho said that it’s harder to take someone home with a promise of a threesome. But then Jun still needed to be there because Sho wanted him to watch, so that was how the arrangement was decided.

Jun watches from his place as Sho talks to their target, and he’s only half impressed that Sho can make the guy laugh after only five minutes of conversation. Sho has that skill, after all. Jun will never doubt Sho on making people laugh and feel comfortable around him.

Because, well, the first time they talked, Sho had used it on him, too. And it was with the same intention; Jun recalled Sho’s confession on wanting to kill him before.

From where he is sitting, Jun can see Sho scooting closer to their victim as he giving a sign to the bartender for another drink. Sho is so good in this, Jun thinks. If he had met Sho in a bar, he wouldn’t even think twice to let that man bring him home so he can fuck him.

After the third drink, the guy they’re targeting seems to be relaxed. When Sho whispers in his ear, he replies with a whisper to Sho’s ear too. Sho now has his stool so close to the man that he’s practically straddling him

Not five minute later, Sho puts his hand on the man’s small of the back. Jun feels a pang of jealousy with that gesture, but there’s also a wave of pleasure inside him knowing that their target has been trapped, with the way he doesn’t even flinch.

Jun sees Sho nosing the target’s neck, and that’s the breaking point. If the man doesn’t move away, that’s time for them to bring this home.

Their target tilts his head to give Sho more access to his neck. Gotcha. Jun finishes the rest of his drink as he waits for Sho to come back with their target.

Jun doesn’t have to wait long because as soon as he puts down his glass, Sho is there, standing behind him.

“So, um—I’m going to head home right now, are you coming or are you taking the train?” Sho asks Jun, the line they have thought together the night before.

Jun giggles, pretending to be drunk. “You found someone eh? You want to ditch your unfortunate neighbor now?”

“Sorry, I think he’s drunk,” Sho says to their target, “I hope you don’t mind he’s riding with us? I can’t really leave him here. He just had a bad breakup and I don’t know what kind of trouble he can cause if I leave him.”

Jun lifts his empty glass to them.

“Well, as long as we don’t have to drag him along and he won’t crash on your place,” their target answers.

“Can you walk by yourself?” Sho asks Jun.

Jun stands up, fumbling a bit to feign dizziness, and then he giggles again. “‘Think I can.”

Sho looks at their target, his hand still on the small of his back, waiting. Then their target nods and they march together to Sho’s car.

The drive home is mostly quiet, save for the music playing in the background. Sho has turned the radio on when they left the club, Jun has no idea what music it is, though. Jun spends his time scrolling on the criminal news on his phone, giggling every now and then to give the impression that he’s really drunk.

Once they arrive at the building, Jun thanks Sho for the ride and walks before them to his place. The plan was Jun to go back to his place and Sho to his with the target. Then Sho will give their target a drink with sedatives to knock him out, and he will let Jun know when the man has passed out.

And then Jun would go to Sho’s place, and the fun will start.

So Jun closes his door and sits on his sofa, tapping his feet on the floor impatiently as he waits for Sho’s message. They have shared their LINE contact. Jun finds emails to be a bit too troublesome, and when he told Sho, Sho had agreed.

Then why hasn’t that guy used other means to talk to him at the first place, Jun doesn’t know. When he asked, Sho only laughed, and as usual, Jun found that laugh cute and was unable to protest more.

After about ten minutes without any notification on his phone, Jun starts to feel anxious. He takes his phone and open his news app and starts scrolling again. There is nothing interesting there, though.

Three pages of news later, there’s finally a notification received on Jun’s phone. A short ‘he’s out’ from Sho. Jun quickly gets out of his house, and when he does, he sees Sho peeking his head from his door like the last time.

Jun smiles at that sight. He locks the door, and he kisses Sho before he gets in just because he feels like it. He watches as Sho’s eyes blown in surprise.

“Sorry. You’re too cute. I can’t resist,” Jun explains before excusing himself inside Sho’s place, and he hears Sho locking the door behind them.

“He’s in the bedroom,” Sho tells Jun, ushering him to go first as he moves to the speaker set.

When Jun arrives at the bedroom, he sees their target lying limp on the floor. His heart beats faster. This is going to be the first real murder he’s involved in, and he feels adrenaline pumping in his veins already. It feels surreal, and he can’t wait until they get into action.

A moment later, loud music blasts in the apartment, and for the first time, Jun feels excited to hear that. This is it, he thinks. He’s been waiting for this moment to come to his life, and this is it.

Jun feels a hand on his waist, and he jumps. Then he hears Sho laughing beside him.

“I’ve told you I don’t like it,” Jun scowls.

“Sorry,” Sho grins then leans closer to kiss Jun briefly, tugging on Jun’s bottom lip when he lets go.

“How is he not waking up with all the noise?”

Sho shrugs at that question. “Because of my charm?”

Jun hits Sho’s arm at that answer. “I’m serious.”

Sho smirks. “Well if I add just a little bit more to the sedatives I gave him, he would have died already.”

“Do you always do that?” Jun asks, eyes glinting with curiosity and excitement combined. There is one thing he finds impressive about the fact that Sho can just use the sedatives to kill his targets, but he chooses something else instead.

Jun had asked the night before when they planned the murder, why wouldn’t Sho just use sedatives to kill the person he wants to kill. Sho has answered with a question back to Jun, ‘where’s the fun in that?’ and Jun has shrugged at that answer. He thought Sho just isn’t interested in playing on the dosage of the drugs he used.

But it turns out that Sho likes to play with it. The fact that he knows where exactly to stop putting more of the drugs in shows how knowledgeable he is about that. The fact that he doesn’t use the knowledge to just go straight to killing the person is what fascinates Jun.

It means Sho likes the process of murdering itself. And however twisted it sounds, Jun finds it very sexy.

With that in mind, Jun leans back to Sho to kiss him. It stays longer than a brief kiss, and Jun takes the chance to trap Sho’s lower lip with his teeth. He chews on it for a moment and relishes in the feeling of Sho’s moaning to the kiss.

Sho pulls away first, breaking the kiss. “As much as I would like to take that to something more, I believe we still have something else to do,” he points at the body lying on the ground.

Jun chuckles. Sho is a serious person. Not only his mail is serious, but he’s also serious in doing his job—Jun concludes it from how Sho talks about it—apparently, murdering job included.

So Jun pulls himself away from Sho’s hand on his waist. “Then go on, Sakurai-san.”

They talked about who will get to do the murdering, and both have agreed that Sho should be the one to do it. Jun will be watching from a close distance, but that’s all he’s allowed to do. Everything on the planning is up to Jun, but once they get to the real murder, it’s Sho’s stage.

Jun has thought about the various ways of killing last night. He has been watching gore movies for half of his life, he knows what he likes the most, wants to see the most. That has been hanging people by their foot while they’re bleeding, waiting for them to die from the blood loss.

But that is too intricate to do for a first murder—he doesn’t even know if Sho would have been okay with it—so he didn’t go through with it. Jun also remembered that Sho mentioned about killing his victim with a gun, so Jun guesses that Sho might like it simple. He stirred away from anything sophisticated when he chose the method last night.

In the end, he went with the most basic way to kill their first target together.

Jun watches as Sho strips off his shirt and throws it to the corner of the room. Shirtless, Sho starts to stretch his muscles. He pulls his arms up, and from where Jun stands, he can see the muscles of Sho’s back contracting.

Sho’s skin looks so smooth from where Jun is standing, but that doesn’t cover how Sho’s back muscles harden as Sho does his stretching. Jun traces the bumps and the curves with his eyes, imagining how dense it must feel if he touches it with his hand.

When Sho puts his hands down and his back muscles relaxing, Jun exhales. He doesn’t realize that he’s been holding his breath.

Sho turns around to look at Jun, and he doesn’t break his stare at Jun when he pulls up one arm and bends it on the elbow. Jun doesn’t blink when Sho then pulls his elbow with his other arm. Sho’s biceps are mostly hidden by his head, but since it’s flexed so much, Jun still can see how muscular Sho’s upper arm is.

Jun gulps. Probably this isn’t a brilliant idea. He can feel his blood moving south by the sight before his eyes, Sho stretching his arms, showing off. Jun has never thought about it before, but Sho actually has toned arm muscles that Jun would love to feel with his hand.

Last night, when Jun asked about how strong Sho actually is, to try and find out if the method he was thinking can be used, Sho told him that he can lift everything Jun could see inside the room. Jun had laughed at that, thinking that Sho must have been exaggerating, but seeing it now, he regretted that he laughed.

Because Jun can see it in Sho’s face right now, a very bold statement of ‘who is laughing now?’. Sho doesn’t even need to say the words.

Sho is currently spreading his arms open to both sides. Jun can’t help but shift his gaze lower to Sho’s body. He inhales as Sho’s chest is pushed to the front, his pectoral muscles stretched, and exhales as Sho rotates his arms, throwing his shoulders forward.

That way, Jun can see Sho’s deltoids stretching over the usually sloping shoulders.

“Shouldn’t you be… preparing something too while I’m getting ready?” Sho suddenly asks, a smirk plastered on his face.

Jun snaps out his thought. Oh right. How can he forget? Damn Sho and his muscles.

“I’ve prepared them,” Sho adds, moving his chin to point at his bedside drawer.

Jun turns his head aside to look at it, and he sees the things they’re going to use to their target; duct tape, rope, and a tie.

Sho informed him last night that even with the dosage of sedatives he’d be using, there’s a chance that the man will wake up when he feels what is done to his body. The man might be screaming if his conscious returns, so Sho has suggested for them to gag the man while he’s still unconscious. And there’s also the possibility that the man would use his hands and feet to break free, so they have to tie him.

Jun agreed, but with one condition: he will be the one setting the gag and bondage on. Sho said he’s okay with that, and so Jun had enlisted the things he’s going to need to use.

But then Sho stretches his muscles in front of him, and Jun forgets everything else. He grumbles as he walks to the bedside drawer to take everything. He swears he can hear Sho chuckling lightly behind him. That guy must have done the stretching show on purpose.

Show off, Jun thinks, annoyed. At least it was a good show.

Jun moves closer to the unconscious body lying on the ground, the items in his hands. He unfolds the tie, and then balls it. He pulls the guy’s jaw open and stuff it inside. And then he quickly pulls the end of the duct tape to cover the guy’s mouth.

The next thing is to tie his hands and feet. Jun pulls the target’s hands to the back and ties them by the wrist. Then he moves to the target’s feet and does the same to the ankles.

“Done,” Jun turns his head to look at Sho, who has been watching the scene with fascination in his eyes.

“Then move away,” Sho’s voice sounds deep and husky, it makes Jun shiver. He never heard Sho use that voice before. Not even when they had sex and Sho used a deep voice to try to seduce him.

Sho sounds like he’s furious, but not to anyone in particular. Jun glances at Sho once before moving away to give Sho some room.

When Jun offered if Sho would need other equipment to proceed with his plan last night, Sho turned it down. He said he would only need his arms and they’re good. Jun had his fair share of doubts last night, but Sho had looked so sure last night that Jun decided to believe him.

And now, seeing before his eyes, Sho pulling the man up with his arm, Jun called himself from last night a fool.

Sho loops his right arm over the target’s turtleneck, bending his elbow right under the man’s chin. He puts his left arm as leverage over the right wrist, then he pulls the unconscious man up.

Sho is standing behind the target now, his arms locked around the neck. The target is shorter than Sho, so with Sho pulling him up like that, his feet dangles in the air. Jun moves closer to them.

It starts with a pull of Sho’s right arm. Jun watches excitedly as the target starts to breathe with difficulty. Sho adds the pressure on his right arm, pulling with his left arm just right.

Their target makes a movement like he’s choking, but no sound can be heard, thanks to Jun’s gag. Then he opens his eyes, looking straight at Jun. Jun can see his expression changed from surprise to recognition to anger, and it sends a pleasurable tingle over Jun’s body.

He must have recognized Jun who was introduced as the neighbor.

Sho chooses that time to relax his arms, holding the target firm enough so he has no way to wriggle free, but not putting pressure so he can breathe normally again.

“Hi,” Jun greets him, “We meet again. What a coincidence.”

The man tries to make out a sound, but of course, he’s failing. Jun laughs at that, feeling satisfied with his thorough effort of gagging.

Jun has always loved seeing people being restrained; he loved seeing people being in distress because their freedom is taken away from them. Their desperation to move, to get back their freedom is amusing for Jun.

On the target’s other attempt to make a sound, Sho pulls his arms tighter on the neck again, blocking his breathing.

Jun laughs as the man’s eyes go wider as he tries to breathe through his nose. It must have been difficult for him, breathing with his neck strangled by a pair of muscular arms like Sho’s.

Speaking of arms… Jun shifts his gaze to look under the target’s chin. Sho’s forearm flexing, the shape of his muscles contracting, his biceps pressing at the target’s neck.

And then the muscles relax again as Sho loosens his grip.

Their target still hasn’t given up on trying to free himself, now he tries to kick Sho’s shin with his legs. Sho pulls his arms to strangle the target again as payback. The pull is stronger this time because Jun can see Sho’s muscles even more prominent.

Jun wills himself to tear his gaze from Sho’s arms, and he looks at their target’s eyes.

“How does it feel?” Jun begins, “How does it feel to be helpless, trapped, unable to move, unable to do anything.”

The target tries to kick again, and Sho pulls even tighter.

“Unable to breathe,” Jun whispers close to the target’s face. He sees the target’s eyes starting to be redder, still looking at him angrily.

And then Sho lets go again, and the target exhales in relief. Jun watches as he tries to steady his breathing. Seems like he’s thinking of the best way to get out of the situation. Jun shoots a look at Sho, and Sho nods.

This time, when Sho pulls his arms, muscles stretching around the target’s neck, he doesn’t let go. He pulls and pulls and Jun can see how his muscles stretching, imagine how hard it must be to touch.

Jun keeps his eyes locked at Sho’s biceps as his arm continues pulling over the target’s neck.

On one point, their target finally stops moving, and Jun watches as the target’s eyes go bloodshot. He watches as Sho lets go of the neck, the man’s body falling on the ground.

There’s a brief moment of silence as Jun stares at Sho, and Sho stares back at him. Then Jun feels a strong force pulling him close and then pushing him back. Jun can feel the soft mattress on his back and the demanding press of lips on his mouth.

Sho is kissing him, hard and unrelenting, and Jun can only moan his protest as he kisses back with equal hunger. He feels his wrist pinned to the bed by Sho’s hands. Jun opens his hands and makes fists of them, but the grip on his wrists is persistent.

There’s an animalistic growl coming from Sho. Jun shivers. It’s the first time he hears Sho making that sound and there’s an unseen force that makes the hair on his nape stands. He can feel his heart beats faster, blood rushing to every nerve of his body.

Sho pushes closer, grinding at Jun’s crotch. This time, aside from the pressure Jun feels on his groin, he can also feel heat emitting from Sho’s body. It overwhelms him, as he feels his temperature rising too.

The kiss grows more intense as Sho sucks Jun’s tongue like he doesn’t want to give Jun a space to breathe. When Jun retaliates, trying to pull Sho’s tongue with his, Sho bites him.

The stinging pain makes Jun pull away sharply. Sho uses the moment to trace Jun’s skin. As Sho moves to his neck, Jun can feel bites and pulls on his skin. Sho is abusing his neck, and Jun can only moan at how it feels.

Jun can still hear the loud music filling the room as Sho lands a particularly hard bite on his skin. He shouts Sho’s name in pain.

That brings Sho’s mouth back to his. Sho shuts him up with another hard suck on his tongue, and the whimpers Jun makes go directly to Sho’s throat.

Sho is rutting against him, and all Jun wants is to run his hands to Sho’s back, leaving nail marks on the toned muscle, but Sho’s hold is still unrelenting.

When Sho pulls away later, tugging Jun’s bottom lip with his teeth, Jun opens his eyes to look at Sho’s eyes. The pupils are blown, like how it usually is when they just kissed the air out each other’s lungs, but there’s also something in there. Something Jun has never seen before.

If Jun doesn’t know better, he’ll say that it’s anger. But Jun knows it’s not just that. The way Sho is staring at him, dense and scorching.

It’s not just anger. It’s something more.

Jun moans at his realization. Sho’s force is more than that of anger, and Jun can feel himself burning under it. Sho grunts as he loses a grip on Jun’s hand. Jun instantly runs his hand to touch Sho’s side, reaching out to his back.

“Don’t,” Sho warns him, voice thick, “you dare to touch me.”

Jun pulls his hands at that, putting it back to where it was on the bed beside his head. Sho shifts, pulling both Jun’s hands over his head and pins them down with one hand.

The grip is just as firm that way, and Jun finds himself trapped.

Sho rips Jun’s shirt as soon as he’s sure Jun won’t try to touch him again, and Jun arches his back. Sho hasn’t as much as laid a hand on his chest, but Jun feels his skin so hot already.

Jun can feel the radiating heat from Sho’s body transfers to his, and he can’t do anything but give in to Sho’s touch.

There’s a pain on his clavicle where Sho just put his mouth on, and then a hard pinch on his nipple. Jun screams at the overwhelming sting.

Jun hears Sho growls before feeling a hard bite on his other nipple. Now not only the heat that is building inside Jun, the marks that Sho left on his skin start to burn.

Jun feels hot, inside, out, and all over him.

Sho stops when he reaches the band of Jun’s sweatpants, and then he yanks the thing off. Jun raises his hips just in time, saving himself from the pain that might be caused of the cloth pulling on his strained cock.

There’s a hand closing around his cock, and Jun moans when he feels it squeezing his cock. Sho runs a thumb over his slit, smearing his precome. Jun closes his eyes at the feeling, lifting his hips off the bed.

“Don’t move your hands,” Jun suddenly hears Sho ordering him, before feeling the grip on his hands loosen.

“Suck,” is Sho’s next word, and Jun opens his eyes to find Sho’s fingers in front of his face. Jun does as he’s asked, taking four of the fingers in and sucking them hard. Sho moves his fingers outside and in, fucking Jun’s mouth.

Jun moans as he runs his tongue around Sho’s digits. They keep staring into each other’s eyes as Jun does that, and Jun can see Sho’s eyes getting even darker.

Sho pulls his hand away from Jun’s mouth when he feels that it’s enough, and soon after, Jun feels a finger prodding at his entrance. Sho doesn’t take his time to push on the muscle first, just pushing one finger in, knuckles deep. Jun hisses at the pain, but then Sho’s hand on his cock squeezes, and the pleasure helps Jun to relax.

The finger inside him is pulling and pushing and feeling around, and soon, there are two fingers inside him. Sho’s hand on his cock keeps Jun distracted, and Sho pushes his lips back to kiss him to distract him even more.

Jun feels a slight burn when a third finger goes in, but then Sho grazes his prostate just so lightly, and Jun moans against Sho’s mouth.

This Sho who does things to Jun right now, with the way he’s fucking Jun’s ass and squeezing Jun’s cock as he moves his hand fast on the shaft and kissing Jun open-mouthedly with all teeth and tongue, is almost abusing, using Jun to channel something out, but Jun doesn’t find an ounce of his fiber protesting.

Instead, he feels the pressure building inside his body. Sho gets him so fast and he’s there, just right there.

Jun doesn’t get the chance to tell Sho, as Sho’s movements are all so hard and so fast and so coordinated that Jun can’t even remember his name. He comes all over Sho’s stomach without warning, and he can hear Sho’s irritated ‘tch’ before he drifts into ecstasy.

When Jun is still in the middle of his orgasm—he can still feel his cock spurting come on his stomach—he feels a cock being shoved into his mouth. Sho has pushed himself into Jun’s mouth, and, seeing how unresponsive Jun is, uses the moment to fuck into Jun’s mouth without reservation.

Sho tries to push to the back of Jun’s throat when Jun is finally down from his high, and he chokes. Jun can hear Sho snorting at him, and now, in the clear of his mind right after his orgasm, he feels anger building up inside him.

Sho is using him until he comes, and still using him after. He doesn’t know what Sho’s reason is, but they haven’t talked about this before, and it’s not something Jun can accept just like that.

Jun pulls his head to let go of Sho’s cock, and that makes Sho goes, “What do you think you’re doing?”

When Jun doesn’t answer, Sho moves down then grabs Jun’s chin with his hand, and then he kisses Jun again, as hard as before but there’s something different than the previous kisses.

Sho is coaxing Jun with the kiss. Jun swears he can feel Sho begging into the kiss, licking along Jun’s tongue and pressing almost gently.

Jun sighs. He can already feel himself melting, giving in to Sho’s wishes. He returns the kiss, showing Sho as much as he can, telling Sho to please, please don’t hurt him. Didn’t Sho promise not to hurt him?

Then Sho pulls away and looks at Jun and this time Jun sees something beneath the furious look that Jun saw there. Jun sees a hollow darkness inside, a deep sorrow underneath all the layers.

And then Jun hears Sho says it. “Please.”

That pains every single part of his being, and Jun nods his head. “Do whatever you wish with me,” he whispers his answer.

At that, Sho returns to the angry person he was before, pushing his cock back to Jun’s mouth. This time, Jun takes it all in. He lets Sho uses his mouth, fucking it to his pleasure. Sho hits his throat, and Jun tries to keep it open so Sho can get deeper inside.

When Jun can see Sho’s balls contracting, when Jun is sure Sho is just right there, when Jun just gets ready to hollow his cheek to help Sho along, Sho pulls out of his mouth.

Then he orders Jun to turn around to get on all fours, and Jun obeys.

Jun can hear Sho slicking himself up behind him, probably using Jun’s cum or the lube he has retrieved from somewhere. Then, Jun feels Sho’s blunt head on his hole.

Sho isn’t wearing a condom this time, and Jun moans Sho’s name as he feels the warm skin of Sho’s cock without anything else on the way. Jun moves his hips back to meet Sho’s thrust, and he doesn’t miss the way Sho’s breath hitch.

It doesn’t take long for Sho to move to ram himself inside Jun. Jun meets him back thrust after thrust, eager on giving Sho the satisfaction he needs.

But then Sho changes his angle, and Jun outright wails. He doesn’t expect Sho to hit his prostate, and the pleasure is too much for him. Sho keeps that angle to continue fucking him, and Jun doesn’t even realize that he’s already hard again until he feels Sho’s hand around his cock, squeezing and pulling.

Soon, Sho’s rhythm starts to falter, his thrusts no longer matches his pulls, and then Jun gets to the edge. A hard thrust against his prostate and a brutal squeeze of his cock are what tips him over, and then he can feel Sho shooting cum inside him as he comes on the sheet below.

Sho slumps on top of him after they both get down from their high. Jun tries to roll over, he wants to look at Sho’s face. But Sho’s body is pinning him down, and he can hear Sho’s protest. “Don’t.”

So Jun stays in that position, trying to be content with feeling Sho’s body pinning him down; he did want to feel Sho’s muscles ever since he saw him stretching up earlier. But then Jun senses Sho’s body shaking, and he tries harder to free himself.

It doesn’t work; Sho pins him harder instead.

“Don’t. I’m sorry,” Jun hears Sho’s whisper, pleading.

And then he feels warm rolling on his neck. Jun is sure Sho is crying right now. He wants to wriggle himself free, wants to look at Sho’s face, wants to hug him to say that everything is okay even though he doesn’t know what is making Sho cry now. But he can’t.

Sho won’t let him go, and the exhaustion catches up and forces Jun to sleep.

---

It’s still dark outside when Jun wakes up to a soft kiss brushing against his temple. When he opens his eyes, he sees Sho looking at him with warm eyes. Sho is holding him close, and Jun feels a blanket over their bodies.

Jun wants to ask about what happened before, but Sho must have read into it and acts faster.

“We need to get rid of the body before the sun is up,” Sho says with a hoarse voice, and Jun knows that everything else will have to wait.

The both of them get ready fast and have their coffee before loading the body into Sho’s car and drive away. Sho has told him on the night they planned the murder about where they’ll be dropping the body, and even though he has put his trust on planning the murder to Jun, he makes the plan of getting rid of the body himself. The only thing he asked of Jun is to help him doing it.

Two and a half hours later, after a long drive to and a long drive back, they’re finally back in their apartment building. When Jun is about to open the door of his own place, Sho stops him. He says that there’s something he has to say.

So there they are now, sitting on the sofa in Sho’s living room. Jun stares at the speaker set. He doesn’t remember one of them turning it off last night, but he’s sure he didn’t hear anything when he drifted off to sleep last night.

Probably he was just too tired.

Sho calls his name after that, snapping Jun out of his thought. “About last night,” Sho takes a deep breath, “I’m—I’m really sorry. It’s—”

Sho is stuttering, but Jun doesn’t have the heart to stop him or help him to get his words together. He realizes that Sho from last night is someone entirely different, and being a person with emotional instability himself, Jun thinks that there must be an explanation in that.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I never have the intention to,” Sho reaches Jun’s hands and gives them a squeeze, “It’s just—every time I murdered someone, the moment after I’m sure they’re dead, I—”

Jun pulls his hand out of Sho’s hold to squeeze Sho’s hand. He wants Sho to know that it’s okay. It’s fine for Sho to tell him. He’s here, Sho isn’t the only one wanting to protect Jun.

Seeing the Sho from last night makes Jun ache to protect him too.

“I know I’m doing it for a reason, I know they deserve it, but—” Sho drops his head to their joined hands pushing his forehead on it, “Every time I’ve done it, I’d feel angry at myself.”

Sho’s voice croaks at the end, and Jun squeezes harder. It’s okay, he wants to say, we can get through it together, he tries to tell Sho with the hold of his hand.

“Like, I want to kill myself for doing such a horrible thing,” Sho’s body shakes, “But I could never bring myself to.”

“And last night,” Sho is sobbing now, Jun can feel the tears rolling on the side of their hands, “Last night I made you do it with me. Last night I was so angry at myself and at you because—Because we made last night happen.”

At that Jun pulls his hands to then wrap them around Sho, hugging him. Sho shakes violently against Jun’s body, but he doesn’t try to let go. Jun feels Sho’s hand reaching over his back instead, hugging him back.

When the shaking has subsided, and Jun is sure that Sho has calmed down, Jun pulls away from the hug. He looks right to Sho’s eyes.

“Sho-san,” Jun starts, holding Sho’s hands inside his, “Don’t worry about that. Starting from now, don’t worry about that. Okay?”

Jun leans closer, and he kisses Sho’s lips gently. You have me now, Sho-san, he says, wordlessly, to the kiss.

Date: 2016-09-09 07:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xdestroying.livejournal.com
So. First off, I really want to thank you again for this story. For taking up such a dark wish of mine, it is not everyone who likes to explore these genres and actually write such a long fic as this. Ah... I feel so spoiled ><

I am sooo happy with that last sex part, you filled so many of my prompts and kinks, how did you manage to get it all squeezed in? - I am extremely happy about this very aggressive, commanding, slightly violent Sho, and how Jun just takes it. It is a favorite thing of mine, ahem..
Also, the way you took you time to describe Sho's muscles probably had me flailing just as much as Jun's internal self. No really, we love his arms and back. I don't think I mentioned his back in my kink list, but it is definitely there! So how did you know? :D
Another thing is how you interpreted my wish for gags and bondage. Really, huge thumbs up for that. ^^

Overall, I love your take, your analysis on a couple of murderers. Instead of focusing on their craziness, you choose to explain them as broken, distrustful, complicated, due to their pasts. I like that interesting aspect of it.
Also, the fact that Jun is not the only one having mental problems, that there is something broken in Sho too, helps create the sense that these two could make each other whole. That what they are doing (which is wrong omg, but I love it nevertheless - what does that make me??) they can now do together, releasing their stress and anger together.
And that thing about completing each another was also on my wish-list wasn't it..
Oh, really, you have worked so hard on this, haven't you, you've been so attentive to my wishes and I am SO thankful.
I just hope you enjoyed writing this as much as I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you, thank you thank you for this story <3

Date: 2016-09-25 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inaudible-d.livejournal.com
I am SO GLAD that you liked this story. I know I've said it before but really writing this was quite a journey and I was on my toes the whole time hoping that you'll at least find it acceptable. This also happened to be my longest work so far ahaha.

It was coincidental, actually ;D I didn't even plan that last sex part. But now I'm happy that I went with it because I could put a lot of your favorites in that. And hey, I think it's hard to find anyone in the fandom who doesn't like Sho's back ;D but it was also coincidental ;D
Also, thank you! I wasn't sure that it was okay to put the gags and bondage that way but hey it fits the story so why not? :D

You won't believe how relieved I am when I read this part of your comment. I am not familiar with writing darker-themed fic, but I also find fictions with psychological theme interesting, and it interests me the most when the characters are portrayed as normal human being with slightly different preferences in things. That's the kind of thing I'm familiar with, and I guess that's why I can actually try working on this theme.
And it's really thanks to YOU that I came up with something like this. I wanted to do the neighbor AU but I didn't have a conflict and since you mentioned you liked something dark, then, why not making it dark. ;D
I did have some hardships in trying to put this together, but that's how writing is, I guess. Believe it or not I had so much fun writing this and it's all thanks to you! :D

Date: 2016-09-12 08:18 am (UTC)
64907: (ohno - king)
From: [personal profile] 64907
I admit that I was drawn to the warnings because it's a genre I once dabbled into myself (never again though!), so seeing somebody else's take on it was what piqued my interest.

I had my suspicions re: the loud music (I was right LOL), but despite that, there were a bunch of unpredictable stuff in this for me—Sho having a bit of conscience/remorse despite taking matters into his own hands, Jun's initial reluctance re: accepting what he feels.

I do love that the Kaze trio friendship in this felt very Kaze trio-like (if that makes sense!). I like that Jun has Aiba and Nino who tease him as a way of looking out for him.

Date: 2016-09-25 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inaudible-d.livejournal.com
:D

This is why sometimes I don't like that I have to put warning in things because I can't really hide surprises like that one LOL. I need to show that despite them being people with tendency to do bad things, they're still human beings with their own thoughts and feelings.

Thank you! I love their relationship and I love reading them in fics, and this is me trying to portray it with my own way. Seeing it worked out for you made me happy. :D

Thank you for reading this :D

Date: 2016-09-14 03:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astrangerenters.livejournal.com
Yeahhhhh I still want them to go to jail LOL. This was wonderfully dark, the mundane 'getting to know your neighbor' set-up, the trust issues, the instant attraction. The way they got together was really hot, especially since they were both keeping some pretty major secrets from each other at the time. I used to watch Dexter, and he was a serial killer...he wasn't really someone you sympathized with, but he was still an interesting character to follow. So while I didn't have any sympathy for Jun and Sho, given how they just murdered that guy (and we don't know if the victim was a 'bad person' either), I still found their relationship interesting to follow, and I'm envisioning a dark sort of co-dependence forming from here on out!

Date: 2016-09-25 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inaudible-d.livejournal.com
I knoooowwww I want them to end up somewhere bad LOL. This fic might have ended up well for Jun and Sho, but in my head what might follow after is nothing but a bunch of trouble for them hahaha.

Thank you for reading this! :D

Date: 2016-10-01 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arkalein.livejournal.com
Oh my holy God. What did I read here?
It is fantastic. I love it.
Ok, it is not a theme everybody likes but you write it really good. I didnt read the warnings so I thougt Sho is a trainee DJ and it will get to a nice neighbour smut. But then the truth come and I thought “Oh..... Ohhhhhhh nice“ The smut was perfect. Hot feelings.

Big thank you for writing it and please dont stop with dark themes
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