arashi_exchange | Gift Fic for waxrose (Reply)

A piece of rainbow for waxrose

Title: Something new
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/Ninomiya Kazunari
Rating: PG-13
Summary A strong bond can’t be destroyed, but Aiba isn’t sure if this is really true.
Notes: Dear waxrose, I had a lot of fun writing this, I hope you’ll like it. Thanks to my beta for the great work

They had been together for 20 years – and it would be another amazing anniversary for them, but somehow something was off, and Aiba didn’t know exactly what it was. At first it was just a small feeling wandering through his body, stopping in his belly and jumping up and down there uncomfortably.

The rehearsal was almost over, and Aiba could hear Jun giving last orders via microphone. His voice was a little higher than usual, but that wasn’t something new for Aiba. The concert was close, and they were on the edge of their patience. And especially Jun, who was in charge of most of the things concerning the concert, including light and choreography, technique and staff related things, had really weak nerves. The others knew it was the best to let him do and avoid every single discussion, so that was what they did. It was how they worked – they knew each other so well after all those years, that they wouldn’t do anything to annoy each other.

Sho was sitting in the corner of the small member room, reading his texts for the next News Zero, Satoshi was scribbling something into a small note pad and Nino was lying on the couch, his Nintendo in his hands. Aiba loved reading or listening to music, but what he loved most was looking at his band mates and how they tried to relax before concerts. They were all different in handling nervousness, and even though they had been doing this job for so long, they still felt the small bubbles in their bellies when they had to enter the stage. And Aiba knew that if he’d lose this feeling one day, he would need to retire, because this was what made his job special.

But this wasn’t the reason Aiba had this strange feeling in his belly. There was something different. Something was bothering him, something he hadn’t ever felt before. “What are you thinking about?” Aiba winced when he heard Jun’s voice next to him. He hadn’t even realized that the other had come into the room.

“Nothing in particular,” Aiba said. “It’s just amazing that we have been doing this for so long.” He turned to Jun. “I mean 20 years. Have you ever imagined that it would turn out like that?”

Jun shook his head. “No, not really.” He made a pause and Aiba could see Jun looking at their band mates from one to the other. “I mean, we are all so different, aren’t we?”

That was true. But with their differences they had so much in common. “We are different, but that makes us the same, right?”

“What do you mean?”

Aiba smiled. “We are all nerds, in our very own and special way, but because we are all nerds, we understand each other, and that's what makes our differences something we have in common.” Aiba looked directly at Jun. “Does that sound strange?”

“Just a little bit,” Jun chuckled. “But you are right.” He patted Aiba’s back. “But that’s not what bothers you, right?”

How could Jun sense that something was wrong? Sometimes Aiba wondered about this ability. Jun always knew when something was off with one of them. Jun was extremely sensitive about the feelings of his friends, and he cared more than everyone else. But Aiba wouldn’t reproach the others for not having this ability, because when something really was off, they were all caring, just that Jun realized it first.

And now Aiba was just thinking about his little painful twitching belly, and Jun had already sensed it. He didn’t know if he could really talk about it, or if it wouldn’t be better to keep quiet about it. “I really love you all, you know that, right?”

He could see Jun’s smile fading. “What have you done, or what are you planning to do?”

Aiba raised his hands. “Nothing bad, really.” He sighed. “It’s just that my feelings changed a bit.”

Now Jun laughed out. “Nino?”

Aiba gulped. How the hell could Jun know that? He had never said a word about it, and he just now realized that Aiba’s feelings for one of them had changed? “You are creepy, you know that?” He asked, earning another laugh from Jun.

“Maybe, yes.” He shrugged. “But it’s a little bit obvious.”

Aiba’s heart started beating faster. “What? Really?”

“Yeah, you dance around each other, Ma-chan. Even Satoshi has already sensed something. And you know that he usually needs a little more time to see such things.” Jun punched Aiba playfully. “But we already thought about getting you together, we just couldn’t decide on the how.”

Now even Aiba had to laugh. That was so Arashi-like. “We are such a weird group.”

“Oh yes, we are,” Jun agreed.

“What do you think I should do?” Aiba asked. “I mean, I don’t know if it is really a good idea to risk something after being friends for so long. And then there is the group, which should be my priority. I don’t want to risk anything,” he added.

“Masaki, are you in love?”

Aiba needed a moment before he nodded. “Yes.”

“Then you don’t need any further explanation.” Jun brushed Aiba’s back. “As you said, we have been friends for so long, and we have a strong bond. I am sure that if something might go wrong with you two – which we really don’t hope – we’ll make it through this.”

Aiba nodded. Jun was right. Nothing could destroy their bond.

~~~

Lunch time was something Aiba enjoyed the most. He was a really talkative person, but sometimes he just loved it to sit on the rooftop with his bento, alone. He had to think about so many things, and he couldn’t concentrate on the others right now.

“Coke?” Aiba turned. Sho smiled at him and handed him an iced-cold bottle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1CDgyPCeKE

“Thank you.”

Sho sat next to him. “Jun talked with you?”

“Yeah, seems that you all know what’s going on,” Aiba grumbled, though he wasn’t really annoyed about it, because he knew he had their support.

“We just want to see you happy. And it seems that the same thoughts are bothering the both of you.” So Nino really felt the same? Aiba hadn’t thought about Nino’s feelings till now, because he was too occupied with sorting out his own feelings.

“Really?” Aiba asked.

“Maybe I shouldn’t tell you, because he entrusted me with this, but I want to see you both happy, so I am here to tell you that he feels the same, and he has the same fears you have,” Sho explained.

Aiba’s heart made some jumps. So there really was a chance for them? But certain ‘what if’ scenarios made their way through Aiba’s head. “I don’t know if we should really risk this.”

Sho smiled. “You know what happened last time we had a break up, but this doesn’t mean that it'll happen again.”

Sho was talking about his and Jun’s break up years ago, which had lead to a lot of fights and struggles within the group, and of course Aiba had this on his mind. He didn’t want to risk hard times approaching them. “It would be a lie to say that I don’t think about that.” Aiba was honest.

“We were younger, Masaki, and a lot of weird stuff happened back then, but you are grown-ups, and completely different than Jun and I are. We are both stubborn and of course it didn’t help that we were really young. I am sure that neither you nor Kazu will make the same mistakes we made,” Sho said. “And in the end, the group even survived this, so I guess nothing can ever bring us down.” He laughed.

Sho’s words gave him strength. He was right, the band had survived a lot during the years. And they always ended up stronger than before.

~~~

Aiba had promised Satoshi to help him rearrange his atelier. “Sho and Jun have talked with you, right?” Ohno said after a while of working silently next to each other.

Of course he would talk with Aiba too. “Yes.” Aiba looked at Ohno. “What do you think about it?”

Ohno shrugged. “I love to see you all happy. And I guess, being together would make the both of you happier, so I hope you take the step towards each other.”

Aiba bit his lower lip. He had to suppress his feelings. He couldn’t describe how happy he was about the support from the others. That was why their friendship was the best. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. Honestly,” Ohno said and turned to Aiba. “You slowly start going on my nerves with your dancing around each other.” Of course he said it with a laugh, but Aiba had the feeling that there was a bit of truth behind his words.

“I am sorry.” Aiba bowed. “I was just afraid of …” he started, but Ohno laughed out loud, patting Aiba’s shoulder.

“No need to explain it, Masaki. I know that this whole situation isn’t easy for you.” Ohno took two bottles of beer and handed Aiba one. They sat on the couch before Ohno continued talking. “We have been friends for so long, but you know, I always wondered why the both of you never got together.”

“What?” Aiba almost spilled out the beer he had sipped. “You have been thinking about us for some time now?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I watched you two, and there was this special aura surrounding you,” Ohno explained.

“That sounds … weird?” Aiba said.

“Well maybe, but it’s what I saw and still see. And after your duet during the last concert, it was more than clear to me what you feel for each other,” Ohno said. “Not the actual performance, but your rehearsals.”

Aiba was sure that he blushed. They had really had a lot of fun rehearsing, and it was the first time Aiba had allowed his feelings to come up a bit. “Was it that obvious?”

“Masaki, we heard you laughing and flirting with each other three rooms away.”

“Oh.” Aiba felt embarrassed. “But wait, you think that Nino was also flirting?” So Sho and Ohno believed that Nino felt the same. This was really too good to be true.

“Of course.” Ohno nodded. “As I said you two are dancing around each other, and it’s time to stop that.”

“I am just afraid.” Aiba sighed. “What if it doesn’t work? What if it affects our group? Our friendship?”

“You can think about hundreds of ‘what ifs’ in your life, Masaki, but if you don’t try it, you won’t see it. You can’t prevent things from happening, but you can live a sad life, if you never try something, because you are too afraid of what might happen,” Ohno said.

He was right. No one could tell Aiba what would happen, but if he didn't try it, he would never see where this way would lead him. And one thing was the most important: Aiba’s feelings grew stronger, and it almost hurt him not to tell the other.

“You are right, Satoshi, I should try it.” Aiba had never been so sure about something in his life before. He wanted to tell Nino the truth, he wanted to take the risk. With the support of the others he knew that they’d make it, no matter what would happen to them in the future.

~~~

Aiba had already knocked three times on Nino’s door, but the other didn’t open. It was typically Nino, if he didn’t know that someone was visiting him, he locked himself in his apartment.

Aiba pulled out his phone and dialled Nino’s number. “I am in front of your door,” he grumbled when Nino picked up.

“Oh,” the other just said and soon the door got open, and Nino let Aiba slip into his apartment.

“What do you want here?” Nino asked after Aiba had removed his shoes.

“I guess it’s time to talk with each other.” Aiba tried sounding strong, but he wasn’t sure if he succeeded. He felt his heart beat in his throat, and his knees were weak. Sweat appeared on his palms and he didn’t know if he would be able to find the right words or keep a clear head.

“Talk? About what?” Aiba was sure that Nino knew why he was here, because he could see him gulping and he seemed at least a little nervous.

“I have…,” Aiba started. “No, I am…” He brushed through his hair. He should have thought about the right words beforehand. He took a deep breath. “Something between us changed.”

“What are you talking about?” Nino’s voice was slightly higher than usual and he was nervous. After all those years Aiba could tell every mood his band mates had.

“I talk about the feelings I have for you. You are my friend, Nino, but for me that changed. I wish that there could be more between us,” Aiba explained. He wanted to step closer to Nino, brushing his hair out of his face, but he didn’t dare to. He was too afraid to get pushed away. “But I understand if you can’t see us together. I just couldn’t bear with hiding this fact anymore.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” Nino asked.

Aiba hadn’t expected this question, but it was the one, which had been hunting him for weeks. “Of course I am. Man, I am afraid as hell, but I can’t stay away from this feeling forever.”

Nino nodded. “Me neither.” He smiled. “You know that the others tried to get us together?”

Aiba laughed. “Of course. They talked with me, one after the other.”

“Same here.” Nino raised his hand. “They are the best, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, true,” Aiba agreed. “So, how shall we do this?”

“Sex you mean?” Nino asked sheepishly, making Aiba blush.

“No, I was talking about us together at first… and then, well yeah… the rest.”

Nino stepped closer, kissing Aiba’s lips. “How about we get into this slowly?”

Aiba nodded. “Sounds good to me.” He wrapped his arms around Nino’s waist, pulling him closer and the strange painful twitching in his belly disappeared almost immediately. This was the best way he could have chosen. He was sure about it.