Gift Fic for aridseas

[stormymood.livejournal.com]

GIFT FIC for aridseas



Title: Our Little Devils
Pairing: Yamapair, Sakuraiba, Implied Junba
Rating/Warnings: PG-13, Issues of suicide and murder. Character deaths happen but they aren’t any of our boys. Fantasy AU
Summary: Guilt. Jealousy. Depression. Wanderlust. Recluse.
This is the story of how they find their happiness.
Note: Dear aridseas, I’m sorry this fic is rather depressing. I apologize if this makes you feel sad but I swear the ending is not depressing!





It felt like flying.

The infinitesimal whistle of wind in your ear and then total immersion. A second of dull impact.

And then its free floating.

Moments of peace and then slow creeping hysteria, a crawling suffocation. Deeper and deeper, cold and weightlessness.

A sneaking, growing burning in your chest, the beat of your heart against your ribcage.

Slow and hard, then faster and faster.

Panic.

The final grace.

A saving hand.

Sho bursts out of the water and gulps in air like a drowning man, given a second chance at life. Then again that was probably true.

There’s a pressure against his chest and Sho hears coughing from a distance, and sees glimmering blue around him through his blurred gaze. There’s a weight against his back and a searing pain shooting through his head.

His back hits the ground and one clarifying moment later he coughs out all the water and his senses kick in all at once. His chest hurts and the scratchy feeling extends up to his throat. Funnily enough, Sho wants to drink water.

He feels the tickle of water at his feet and the rough kernels of sand underneath and finally a calm reassuring voice floats through, “Sho-chan, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Ohno’s face comes into focus. The sun shining behind him at an angle that gives the cherubic lining of his cheeks an angelic glow. His warm wands press against his chest and Sho raises up from the ground to cough out the rest of the water from his lungs.

His throat feels heavy and its too much to talk but he’s happy to see Ohno, “Hi.” Ohno smiles like he doesn’t know what to do with him, “Hey there.” He settles for finally and gives an exasperated sigh before muttering, “Bastard. Too damn early in the morning.”

Sho manages to laugh but has to stop immediately. Damn his throat was a mess.

“Serves you right.” He hears Ohno mutters, “Third time this month. I’m gonna get you banned from the beach.”

“C’mon!” He manages to croak and Ohno narrows his eyes at him when he adds, “Tis fun”

“What is? The possibility of the tide slamming you up against a rock before you drown?”

Sho wants to punch the jerk but he feels too weak so he settles for pouting which of course Ohno ignores a little too easily. He’s immune to it. Damn.

“Sho-chan.” Sho hears the tinkering voice float to him from the wind, slow and drawling. He closes his eyes because he knows who it is and right now, he’d rather not deal with Nino.

“Are you trying to create trouble again?” Nino asks this time from directly above him. Sho doesn’t want to open his eyes and see Nino’s face, Nino’s disappointment.

“No trouble.” It’s Ohno who replies for him and Sho’s glad. He feels the pin prickle of shame and doesn’t have anything to say.

Nino touches the side of his face, his hands were always soft, smallish, Sho likes Nino’s hands but now it seemed to burn his skin.

“Remember Sho-chan. You can’t die. You owe me.”

And that’s it, isn’t it. Sho never dies.

Ohno never lets him and Nino’s debt keeps getting larger, day by day.

Nino smiles, Sho can’t see it but he can feel it just the same, the same patient judging smile as always and its only when he hears the soft padding of Nino’s feet against the sand again that he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“He’s an asshole. Don’t mind him.” Ohno says as he gets up and holds out a hand for Sho to take.

“No he isn’t. He’s right.”

-------------------------

Sho’s squirming. He feels hot. So hot. It’s like a furnace and he’s trapped right in the middle of it where the coal glows with a vengeful heat. He’s trying to run away from it. Or maybe he’s running into it. After a point he can’t tell but its important he keeps running through ashened curtains and flowing golden hair.

Sho sits up with a gasp.
It’s Ohno again. Somehow it’s always Ohno. Whenever Sho is lost, it’s always Ohno who finds him.

He hates him for it.

This time Ohno’s crouching beside him on his bed, pressing a cold towel against his head.

“Wha-

“Fever dream.” Ohno says simply, “from the antic you pulled earlier.”

Sho flops back down on his bed. Right he’s running a fever. The cloth slips down to his cheek and he doesn’t move to fix it. Ohno takes it up a second later dips it into a bowl of cold water that’s on his bedside table, wrings it out before pressing it against his forehead again.

Sho coughs.

“You’re not that sick.” Ohno rolls his eyes with a little chuckle as he’s saying it but there’s a glint of worry in his eyes.

Sho likes to tease, “You’ll still take care of me though.”

And Ohno pouts like he wants to disagree but only ends up re-dippng the towel and reapplying it to Sho’s forehead, “Spoilt brat.” He ends up saying.

“You are.” Sho retaliates and Ohno’s fingers tighten around Sho’s forehead over the cloth and Sho thinks he might have overstepped. But Ohno’s fingers slide down his cheeks down to his neck, one graceful finger followed by the other and Sho’s breath catches in his throat.

It’s a surprising new development. And whenever it happens nowadays Sho is left wondering what it all means.

Ohno stops touching him and Sho can breathe normally again. Forgets about it the next instant when Ohno puts the towel in the bowl and picks it up to take it away.

“Don’t go.” And Sho surprises himself more than he surprises Ohno, Sho’s usually very unkind to Ohno when he tries to baby him and can’t wait to get rid of him.

Ohno turns around with a soft smile, “I have to train.” He says before turning back around to leave.

Sho suddenly notices that Ohno is all geared up in his jump suit and protective pads.

The clock tells him its 6:30 am. It also tells him Ohno’s late to practice.

Sho tries not to read too much into it.

He’s sick. All this was probably a fever dream too.

--------------------------

“Sho-chan.” Nino sing songs. Nino always sings songs. Its disconcerting. It also stopped being cute after Nino turned eighteen. Sho chances a glance at Nino’s pencil smile and golden hair over his eyes.

Who was he kidding? Nino still looks like he’s seventeen. And he’s still incredibly cute. Sho ruffles his hair.

“You picked me…over book?” And Nino pretends to roll over in shock. Sho closes his book before properly turning towards Nino. Nino has somehow managed to curl up into the narrow chair, legs tucked underneath. At times like these it hits Sho how small Nino actually is.

“I’m on break.”

“Yes, sir, mister, scholar, sir.” Nino half mocks

“Why are you here? You need me to assign you princely duties?”

Nino scoffs, “I’m hiding from princely duties. Nagase has been on my tail since morning. I know the library gives him the creeps. He won’t dare come here.” He’s grinning like the cat who got the cream.

“What’s happening?” It’s not the first time Sho’s been kept out of the loop in the castle’s matters. He is after all only a medical assistant. Tend to castle nursery and help the doctor make medicine in the mornings. Study the rest of the day.

“Royal guests.” Nino says sourly.

Sho starts to understand. Nino hates regal parties and courtesies. It’s frigid and tiring and Nino is way too bored, content to play games in his quarters.

“You’re going to have to get out eventually.” Sho instantly wants to take that back, tell him its okay to just hide out here by the look that crosses Nino’s face.

“I know.” He sighs and then an evil grin spreads across his face, “But if I don’t keep Nagase on his toes, he’ll get fat.”

Even as Sho’s finished chuckling Nino’s gone.
-----------------------------

Aiba Masaki arrives with much fanfare and a train of guards and attendants.

The women in the castle swoon a little and Sho can only catch glimpses through the second floor windows of the library.

He skips rather than walk and there’s a bushel of brown hair on his head. Lean and tall he towers over Nino’s blonde head. The bone-crushing hug that he bestows upon Nino lifts him off the ground.

Sho startles when there’s a hand on his shoulder.

He doesn’t know why he’s surprised that its Ohno.

“You’re not down there?”

“As what? The Royal Dragon Rider?”

“No the Roy—

“It’s boring.”

“He looks like an interesting guy.”

“I’ll meet him at dinner.”

“Why are you mad at me?”

“…I’m not”

“You hesitated.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

Ohno grunts in response, “I’m not mad at you.”

---------------------------------------

Aiba Masaki has almost everyone enraptured at the ball that night. Other than of course Nino who humors him with a cheeky grin every few minutes.

As much as Sho can hear, it’s not much from where he’s sitting from the back, Aiba is well read and well traveled, second in line at the neighboring kingdom. They’re allies and he’s here to reinforce such bonds as have been signed by their forefathers.

Sho likes Aiba, he keeps on slapping Nino on his back and every time Nino is desperately hiding a scowl. It’s the most fun Sho’s had in weeks.

Aiba’s laugh is infectious and his wide grin has everyone in peals of laughter. All the high lords of the kingdom and their sons and daughters are in attendance. They’re all fluffed up. Giggling and preening themselves at every chance in the hopes of catching Aiba’s eye.

Sho understands Aiba is handsome and much more amiable than Nino is. Everytime a girl tries to bat their eyelashes at Nino, Nino would yawn or pointedly look away.

And it’s a well known secret that Ohno is gay.

So the sons try to crowd around him, except Ohno’s fast asleep almost always is at these events. Aiba slaps him awake and Ohno startles and upturns a bowl of soup into the noble seated beside him.

Sho has to cover his mouth so the other scholars of the house don’t think he’s nuts. Though they probably do already. After all, he’s almost drowned in the sea just outside the castle three times already. Sometimes Sho doubts himself. In fact if Ohno wouldn’t have reassured him every day that he wasn’t insane Sho would have been absolutely certain.

Sho actually isn’t sure why Ohno tries so hard with him. Encouraged him since they were younger to keep on. Forced him to try out for the apprenticeship program at the castle.

Because all other times Ohno’s sleeping.

Or he’s flying. Its amazing how this sleepy lazy almost soft looking person can grip the reins tied around the neck of a dragon, lean muscles bulging out as he balances on his feet on a rough scale of the dragon’s back. Sho’s seen Ohno ride only twice in his life.

And both times Ohno had displayed nothing but power and precision, in full control of a creature that stands fifty feet above the ground.

Sho catches Aiba flapping his hands like a wing as Ohno nods slowly. One of Aiba’s makeshift wings hit Nino in the face and Nino curses. A gasp goes around the table and then both Aiba and Nino are apologizing.

Ohno looks strangely self satisfied.

And Sho thinks Aiba Masaki is going to make this the most interesting week in the history of the castle.

-------------------




Sometimes all Sho wants to do is fly. But he’s spectacularly afraid of heights. So its sufficient for him to watch from the sidelines. It’s a public event because The Dragon Rider is taking a rider with him. Its rare for Riders to take a tag-a-long. Most times the Riders are at danger of falling down themselves let alone take care of someone else but Aiba is a difficult person to say no to.

He’s passed the basic fitness test. And apparently he’s good with animals. He has a lion cub named Arashi at home.

Although Ohno’s resolve crumbles when Aiba had looked him square in the eye and with the most serious face said, “I can make miracles.”

Ohno had laughed till there were tears in his eyes and then nodded which had made the man so happy that he’d hugged Ohno till all the air from his lungs had squeezed out and his laugh turned into a violent cough.

The dragon’s scale reflects the sun. Ohno calls her Bessie like she was some farmer’s cow but Ohno loves the dragon and by all the evidence that people can gather, it likes him. Ohno’s kind and spends a lot of time after training to just sit with the two dragons the kingdom owns.

Bessie is the smaller one with shimmering blue green scales and a black wing that hides most of its shiny back when its tucked in and she’s lying flat on the ground.

Aiba and Ohno still climb up a ladder two story’s high to climb onto her back. Dragons are actually quite amiable creatures. Except they’re so large that a friendly nudge of their shoulders could bring a few houses tumbling down.

Not to mention the fire-breathing thing. Sometimes dragons breathed fire because they were extremely happy about something. So basically you couldn’t get them excited about anything.

The crowds gathered in the outskirts of the takeoff field were warned not to make noise but there was still a mild cooing when the dragon started standing up.

Sho could see that Ohno fumbles a little and Aiba is pressed right up against Ohno’s back clutching him tightly. Sho bristles a little at the sight. But he’s convinced its cause he’s nervous at what a risk Ohno’s taking right now.

The crowd gasps when the dragon’s gargantuan wings unfurl, a blast of wind rushing through everyone’s hair, girls pushing their skirts down as kids wobble on their feet. The dragon’s wings start flapping slow and then faster and faster. There’s an attempt at applause when the feet of the dragon lift of the ground but the wind is too strong around them and people are struggling just to stay upright. Sho is focused on Ohno and Aiba clinging to him. Aiba remains perfectly still as Ohno moves one leg slightly forward to steer and balance them.

Soon enough Bessie is far above them enough so that the flapping of her wings doesn’t make hats fly off people’s head and the crowd cheers sporadically whenever Bessie makes a particularly risky turn or flies fast.

Sho feels a pang of jealousy when he catches sight of them, flecks up in the air. He sees freedom above him and he puts one hand up, reaching up to them.

Sho could swear Ohno looks down at him.

But Ohno is miles above him and Sho knows freedom doesn’t have time for a man in shackles.

----------------------------

Ohno grows close to Aiba. And Sho doesn’t notice it happening until its happened. Until Ohno enters the library and doesn’t make a beeline for Sho, instead showing Aiba a book he likes. Until Ohno doesn’t wait for him for dinner and he’d already there before Sho seated high up the table reserved for the Royals.

And Sho figures things are the way they should be. Should have always been. If he had always been in his place the kingdom wouldn’t be so miserable. Maybe hierarchy is important.

Maybe hierarchy is the reason the world isn’t topsy turvy.

One day when he is studying his medicinal herbs its not Ohno or Nino who come to him but he’s roused from his concentration by a soft whisper that fails desperately to be either soft or a whisper.

And it turns out to be Aiba, smile turned up to full volume, eyes crinkling and he’s looking so very cheerful Sho has a momentary urge to hurl.

“Sho-chan. You’re always so busy.” He pouts a little. And Sho doesn’t really know why Aiba cares, they haven’t really ever talked much, other than that one time Nino has introduced them in the first official tour of the castle. Maybe he had mistaken him for Royalty at Nino’s familiarity with him.

Sho really doesn’t have an answer so he smiles politely and tries to look sheepishly at his book.

“Why don’t you join us tonight? You need to have fun.” Suddenly Aiba’s hands are on top of him, grasping lightly and he blushes a little as he squeezes and suddenly everything about Aiba is soft and Sho melts a little, “You always work so hard, Sho-chan.”

“I-I don’t really. I only do what’s expected of me.”

“Living in the past isn’t what’s expected of you.”

That throws Sho completely off. He breaks into cold sweat but before he can speak, can ask Aiba what he means, how he knows, what he knows, Aiba is gone.

Sho takes in a deep breathe and tries to settle back in, but his left hand keeps going to the sleeve of his right pulling self consciously. He just keeps feeling uncomfortable like everyone around him is watching him, knows about him.

He looks back and catches Matsumoto Jun staring at him. Matsumoto Jun is another apprentice, he’d gotten into the program a year after Sho did but he’s in a rank higher than Sho’s. He’s reputedly a genius but no one can verify that because he doesn’t talk to anyone or interact now.

Except now he’s staring at Sho, even when Sho’s seen him he keeps looking at him, eyes boring through skin and bones, straight to the core.

Sho shudders out a breath and calls it a day.

---------------------------------

The dreams are intense, so intense tonight like everything he’s willed to suppress has suddenly broken free and he’s rolling and fidgeting on his bed.

Images of hot, hot fire burning, destroying. There are meaningless apologies, a repetition of “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Which echoes around him until he can pinpoint the sound to his own mouth.

And he’s stuck, he’s crying, wetting the fire, strengthening the angry flames.

And the screams don’t help. The shrill sound pierces through him, through the flames and Sho is paralyzed behind it.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

“Sho-chan.” He wakes up with a loud gasp. Like all those times Ohno’s saved him from drowning, like he’s been touched by the saving grace of that one hand that always been outstretched for him.

He’s in a warm embrace and the hands on his back are soothing.

But even as Sho clutches tighter he knows its not Ohno.

Everything is different.

And Sho is struck between relaxing completely and having another breakdown.
Even as he’s shaking he’s being lifted from the chest he’s latched into and suddenly he’s looking straight into Aiba’s eyes. And they remind him of Jun’s from earlier. Sharp and piercing. Like they know him, like they’re hiding something they know. But Aiba looks as stripped and honest as he’s ever looked without the smiles and the cheery laugh bubbling from his mouth. It’s the slight downturn of Aiba’s lips that makes him warm, he trembles from that feeling, finally he knows something too.

Aiba is unhappy.

And the truth hits him just as Aiba pushes their lips together. He lets his lips go lax, lets Aiba direct them, moving just slightly, eyes closed and drowning in Aiba’s unhappiness. He can feel the hurt, the guilt mirroring him and it takes him like the flames do but instead of destroying him Aiba gives him an odd sort of power. His limbs don’t feel like jelly anymore and he sits up a little straighter closes his hands around Aiba a little bit more firmly and kisses him properly.

The way his heart breaks gives him strength because this time it’s not just his.

Aiba breaks apart and it shocks Sho more than the kiss had. He’s feeling a tiny bit intoxicated by it but as he leans forward Aiba pushes his shoulders gently. He follows where Aiba is looking at the door and Ohno is leaning casually against it. A little bowl with a white cloth half sticking out of it clutched in his hand.

His expression is unreadable but when Ohno comes up to him and starts applying the little cool cloth to his feverish forehead none of them talk.

--------------------------------

They don’t talk about what happened.

Ohno doesn’t talk to him at all. And passes him by the hall silently in the morning as he makes his way to the library.

Aiba isn’t there like he had expected, trying to explain what happened or trying to make it happen again.

Instead its Nino who slithers in about an hour into his study time and sits opposite him until he notices.

“Ninomiya-san…” He breathes out and bows his head a little and Nino frowns at him until Sho has to sigh and correct himself, “Nino.”

Nino doesn’t smile like Sho expects him to but he starts talking, “Is anything wrong?”

Sho splutters for a bit because where should he start? But he composes after a few moments of confusion and then settles for, “nothing.”

Nino’s eyes narrows into slits and he leans in really close, “You know I don’t need Aiba-san to tell me to check up on you to know that something is wrong.”

Sho’s stomach drops, he feels sick. Like he’s on a rollercoaster and there’s no way to make it stop.

“Nino. I-I’m sorry.” Sho is close to sniffling but Nino looks at him with a steely expression.

“I’ve heard that before. Many times.”

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“You can’t do anything.”

“Then you can’t help me. It’s the dreams…they’ve been…it’s like they’re real.”

“They are.” And Sho feels like he’s slapped on the face. Because yes, they are.

Nino sighs for a bit and his shoulders are tensed. His hands shake a little as they reach across the table to grip Sho’s reassuringly. Sho isn’t sure who Nino wants to reassure.

“I don’t-I don’t blame you for anything.” It looks like it takes every bit of Nino’s willpower to say the words and its easy to call him out on his bluff.

“But you do.” Nino cringes and Sho knows it’s dealing with his bluff that is the hard part.

Nino doesn’t make the effort to correct him.

Although a while later just as Sho decides the conversation is over and he should get back to his studying Nino sighs and says, “We should stop. Blaming each other. And ourselves.” He doesn’t wait for an answer. Gets up before Sho can react and looks at him. Sho opens his mouth and realizes he’s got nothing to add. Nino is right, they should stop the blame game but they never do and they both know it.

-------------------------------

Sho doesn’t know what possesses him to do it. But he tries to confront Ohno. He knows something is wrong with him. He knows that something is bothering him. And he knows it has to do with him kissing Aibs but both of them have been avoiding him like the plague and as much as Sho loves to slink away from confrontations its Ohno. He’s never needed to slink away from Ohno.

Ohno’s saved him from himself, from the world. He can’t imagine life without him.

Sho knows that Ohno has the power to have him beheaded for trespassing but Ohno wouldn’t have his enemies beheaded. He was mild mannered and understanding and Sho says a quite prayer reaching out to that side of Ohno as he barges into his room without knocking.

Ohno is seated on his windowsill looking out and the setting is a little melancholic. Ohno seems to be brooding. He’s clutching a book open somewhere in its beginning.

Sho clears his throat and Ohno looks at him and then turns back to his studying of the scenery outside his window. Sho feels annoyed and a little ruffled. Ohno has been mad at him before, chastised him for doing something stupid, screamed at him albeit very rarely and pouted and sulked very pointedly at him.

But Ohno’s never ignored him. Never made him feel insignificant and it makes Sho angry, makes Sho want to react, wants to demand answers and he’s reeling a little bit from the feeling. He’s never really felt like that before.

And he doesn’t know how to deal with them other than to just react.

To stride up to Ohno and demand answers because Sho feels like he’s owed some.

“What is the matter with you?” And Ohno looks at him bewildered. Either he’s surprised at the question or to see Sho so agitated. Sho is never agitated. At least he’s never openly agitated. Ohno was always the one to coerce him slowly out of his little box whenever Sho was angry or upset. And suddenly Sho’s past all that hiding and suppressing and is blowing up in Ohno’s face.

Honestly Sho is the most surprised one in the room.

And he expects Ohno to tell him to calm down or throw him out, he’s even expecting a hoard of guards to come and take him to the dungeons.

But today is the day of surprises.

Ohno grabs his shoulders and turns him around and pushes him till his back is pressed against the wall beside the window he was just seated in. He didn’t even see Ohno get up from his seat. And now he’s suddenly here, pressed against the wall, his shoulder hurts from the impact and what Sho has paralyzed in this position isn’t the surprise element neither is it Ohno’s steely grip on his biceps, it’s the way Ohno looks so angry and hurt like he was betrayed.

“Matter with me? Me? I’m the problem?” Sho bites down the urge to apologize because he doesn’t know what’s going on and the anger that pushed him to come here in the first place flickers somewhere within him so he looks straight back at Ohno, “I have always, always been in love with you. I’ve been there for you, supported you and always kept my distance because I thought-” Ohno gulps like he’s getting choked up, “I-because I thought you were off limits. But no. You’re completely fine with throwing yourself at Aiba-san aren’t you? A stranger”

A lot of that stings and Sho is too speechless to reply to any of it. But his brain chooses to latch onto the fact that Ohno was in love with him and it seemed like the world suddenly made sense. He wants-he wants so much right now. To sit them down and start from the beginning, to learn Ohno the only way he hasn’t, couldn’t, and was never allowed to.

Sho wants but he doesn’t know how to get.

Even when Ohno is right there, has always been right there, a whisper away from his fingertips.

Ohno’s fingers relax and Sho knows he’s missed his chance.

Ohno backs away from him, walks towards his own bedroom doors and disappears.

Sho knows he’s messed up. But that was all Sho was good for anyway.

------------------------

This time he doesn’t let the dreams haunt him.

He immerses himself in them.

It’s a cold night, he shivers from the breeze that comes through his windows and he knows its time. He knows that he must face the things he’s been afraid to for all these years.

It didn’t have to be today. Or even now. It wasn’t a ticking time bomb.

But sometimes all Sho wants to do is fly.

And Sho needs to start getting the things he wanted. Sho needs to start reaching out for them.

On hindsight. The decision to face his past was an arbitrary one. It wasn’t any different from the time he’d changed the colour of his room. He’d been so confused between green and blue and then Ohno had smiled at him mischievously and picked an ambiguous teal. On the dark nights it looked as green as the leaves on the trees hanging outside his windows. On bright summer mornings the sun shone on them and it shimmered an ocean blue.

Tonight was a bright night giving his room a silver tinge and Sho had looked at it and decided it wasn’t enough to just want.

Sho creeps past his library door and the large doors of the throne room. He reaches a small door, its seems to be sealed off. But anyone who’s been in the castle long enough knows that the locks been broken for years.

For the past 12 years.

He walks quietly into what was the women’s and children’s chambers. The blackened walls.

It’s more than just a dream now. He remembers the bright colours of these walls now a faded, black yellow as clearly as he’d been here yesterday.

As clearly as though he hadn’t left.

As clearly as though he’d been trapped here everyday, every moment of his life for the past 12 years.

He’s a little shaky, a little hesitant to proceed towards the garden balcony. The connector between the two queens’ bedroom. Where there are no signs of yellow, orange, green or blue. It’s only black and the walls are charred.

The ruins were left there in memory of Queen , the queen that had burned with the fire that carved a hole through the castle walls. The fire that were added to all the history books as soon as it happened.

As soon as Queen Satoshi had lost her mind.

And Prince Ohno was stripped of his heir status.

And Prince Ninomiya was thrust into the midst of it all, too young and bright eyed to argue.

And Sho had caused every single inch of it.

Sho goes to the edge of the balcony where the creepers and weeds have taken root and climbed over the walls going up and down and wherever nature and gravity and sun takes them.

Sho climbs up on the railing. He remembers doing it as a child. It had been so much fun and for a moment Sho feels glad and carefree. He looks at the 6 floors of drop beneath him and he feels another thrill. Like all those times he would go swimming and get right till the edge of life until Ohno would bring him back over the edge.

He closes his eyes. He can see golden hair. He can hear an argument. He can see the ugly, angry faces of the two queens. He sees Prince Ninomiya hiding out behind a stairwell as his mother-no mothers fight.

Queen Kazunari was the first wife but Prince Ninomiya was younger than Prince Ohno.

It was an argument that had been going on since Prince Ninomiya was born.

Who was the rightful heir?

Sho remembers this argument from many times before. Knows this is why Ohno spends most of his time in the Dragon Master’s chamber than inside the castle carrying out his duties.

He remembers it had been Queen Kazunari who had picked up the lamp.

Sho runs out with Prince Ninomiya then. The last time the queens had become violent the little Prince couldn’t stop crying the whole night.

By the time Sho notices the smoke. The whole chamber is lit up with angry flames and everyone in the castle is in panic. Sho runs in even while the chambermaids scream at him not to. A art of the ceiling falls and misses him by an inch.

Sho remembers being frightened. Suddenly finds himself unable to breathe, suddenly finds himself paralyzed in the middle of a fire he’d jumped into. He hears a cry of help but before he can react to it. Someone has grabbed him and pulling him towards less fire, less smoke, less fear. And he runs with them. With all the power he has he follows that hand back to safety.

Queen Satoshi has her arms around him when they’re finally in clear ground. And even as he’s sitting inside her embrace, letting their fears consume them, surround them Sho hears the Queen murmuring nonsense into his hair about how she’s killed her.

He was so afraid then.

A madwoman couldn’t be punished for murder so her son was instead and overnight Ohno had been stripped of all his power and titles or Royalty.

And Sho was too afraid back then.

He’s not afraid anymore.

One foot rises up to dangle in front and he knows what to do to be able to fly.

There’s a strong pair of arms around his waist and before he can propel forward, he drops back. Sho would lose his balance but the arms holding him are strong and grip him tight until he can stand on his two feet.

“What the hell?” He spins around angrily.

Why can he never fly?

“You are still needed.” He receives a cool reply from Matsumoto Jun. The same Matsumoto Jun he’s been studying with for the past 7 years in the same library and had never spoken a word to.

So is too flabbergasted to do anything but follow Matsumoto-san when he grabs his wrist and drags him. They head towards the throne room, the big gates Sho had passed a while back. And he feels his stomach drop at the familiar stench of smoke-no-fire.

The screams get louder as they approach the gates and the smoke is thick, there are scared staff around the fire, throwing buckets of water at it but its not out of control. Not like the way Sho remembers fires. It’s in a graceful circle around the two Princes.

No.

The Prince and the Dragon Rider.

Ohno has his sharp blade against Nino’s throat as Nino sits on the throne. No, he’s bound to it. It’s always been his shackle, as long as Sho can remember Nino has hated the throne and there is that same loathing on his face and its as though he sees through Ohno, his threat and his blade as he stares eyes angry and pained.

Just stares into space.

He catches Jun running from the corner of his eye and Jun’s standing in front of Aiba who looks pale and sickly. Aiba is hunched over, clutching his stomach and he looks like he’s about to puke.

Sho runs to them in time to see Jun holding him and petting his head. He’s speaking softly, like to a scared child and he sees Aiba’s face shift from the terror to something less frightening. Aiba still looks shaken as Jun whispers, “I know you don’t want to. You never did. Just do what’s right. What you’ve wanted all along.”

And Aiba is breaking away from Jun’s hold, rushing right to the edge of fire until Sho is sure he’s about to jump in. But he stops and for a moment the entire world seems to focus in on Aiba.

“I lied to you.” He says. His voice doesn’t falter, its loud and clear and rings through the room, through the panic, “I’ve been lying to you all week.”

Ohno drops his knife like it’s burnt him.

“I’ve never had Sakurai Sho. He’s never been interested in me. The Prince doesn’t hate you. No one hates you. The Prince doesn’t want you dead. The Prince doesn’t want your throne.”

Ohno stumbles to the edge of the fire. Nino doesn’t move.

Ohno’s face reflects the same pallor that Aiba’s face had a moment ago. Even the flame fails to light him up. Ohno reaches into his pocket and throws a dark shimmering powder into the fire and it disappears just like that, like its never been there.

Magic. Its just an illusion. A cry for attention.

Ohno walks past Aiba, doesn’t even see him and comes face to face with Sho. He looks into his face for one moment, searches in it. And Sho tries to say everything he can’t actually say.

Maybe Ohno understands.

“I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.” He murmurs and just as Ohno swivels on his feet and falls onto Sho he adds, “And neither did you.”

Sho holds Ohno because he knows now that Ohno needs him just as much as he needs Ohno. That the little devils that resided in his head weren’t the only ones.

And he looks to Nino and wonders what his are.

----------------------------

The castle becomes a different place.

Maybe not instantly.

If Sho weren’t deliberating on 5 months back and now he probably wouldn’t even have noticed.

Probably no one else does.

It’s in the little things.

There’s a skip in Nino’s step nowadays. His longish blonde hair shines with a fierce glimmer.

He’s been inaugurated King.

And his first order of duty was to appoint Ohno as stand in King.

Which basically meant Ohno was King whenever Nino was travelling the wide wondrous world out there, which was almost always.

Jun’s presence in the castle is as mysterious as Nino’s. He’s not an apprentice anymore and no one really knows where he goes or what he does whenever he isn’t in the castle.

No one really knows.

Nino knows but Nino doesn’t tell.

Probably because no one asks because no one really cares.

Sho sees Jun smile in the rare occasion that he sees him, hunched over the dinner table with Nino for once in a blue moon meal before he’s off again.

Sho has a feeling Jun disappears to where Aiba has.

Ohno feels guilty. Sho can see it in the lines of his face, worry smudged onto his forehead till he looks like an old man.

Sometimes Sho feels guilty too.

But they’re working on it. Together.

The changes are in the little things.

Like the way Sho doesn’t wake up in fever dreams anymore.

Because Ohno never lets go of his hand.





A/N:
So in case anyone didn’t understand:
Guilt=Sho
Jealousy=Ohno
Depression=Aiba
Wanderlust=Nino
Recluse=Jun

A/N 2: The names of the Queens so that people don’t get confused were the first names of both Nino and Ohno. I guess in this AU the women get to keep their last names and it becomes the first name of their sons.

Comments

[stormymood.livejournal.com]

A sparkling Spot for aridseas

[aridseas.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry about the lateness of my reply! I've been on hiatus from Livejournal and completely missed the nudge about this being up. I hope it didn't cause you to worry about me not liking your fic for me, because that's not the case at all. ♥

There's a very airy, detached feeling to this whole story that I like very much. I felt like an outsider looking in on a broken fairytale, drawn in by the intriguing characters despite myself. You manipulated both the feelings of the characters and the reader very well, and I really enjoyed it from start to finish. Thank you so much for writing this! ♥

[lilly0]

This was so interesting!! Wow!!!!
Thanks so much for writing, Anon-san!

[yuui1010.livejournal.com]

Love this Anon!!
It's really interesting, and I love Sho, Nino and Ohno here relation here :D
I kind of hope more of this AU XD
Thank you<3

[alexxasick.livejournal.com]

This was really interesting and I was with a knot in my throat the whole time feeling it for Sho. ::>_<:: I loved it. It's raw in emotions even if at the beginning I was a little confused

[shilriarizz.livejournal.com]

this is so deep.. i felt a lot of emotions here :D

[haianh0402.livejournal.com]

LOL nande_daiyo, being a freshman sure gives you a lot of free time. I was so shocked to see your name pop up when I was strolling around lj.
Anw, I'll definitely read this fic soon :-)